I think I must be in the wrong profession

Strange, and yet stranger things have been happening at work. Let me back this train up, there are some strange people here, especially in my department. I don't know why they say the things they say or even do the things they do and then make it an open announcement about their stupidity (faculty and students alike). I'll just begin by saying a student came into my office to get a paper signed. I looked up her info to see if everything was correct and that she was indeed a full time student. The next thing I know she says, "Oops, excuse me Ms. B, but I just pooted." Did this college student just tell me out loud that she passed gas! What the ham and cheese sandwich is this? I said, "you pooted? in my office?" I was appalled (if I'm even using this word in the right context) but I just didn't know what to say after that except for

The next reason I know I must be in the wrong profession is that an instructor comes and asks me if I had a pencil sharpener to go in the classroom. I said to him that I do have one but not the old kind that used to be up on the wall. He said whatever I had, he would take. So I had a battery operated one and gave it to him with 4 AA batteries. He came back in less than ten minutes and asked me if I had a screwdriver. I wasn't following him so I asked him what did he need a screwdriver for. He said to unscrew the screw. I said to him that the screw holds the sharpener together and it wasn't to be unscrewed. And then he said, "OH!" I mean, come on people make your degrees work for you. Then he came back again and said the sharpener doesn't work. I knew it did because it was brand new....so I took it and looked at it....how about the paper that comes packed with it was inside the battery compartment. DUH...he must have felt really stupid.

And the last reason I know I must be in the wrong profession is that another instructor who teaches a Monday/Wednesday class at 1:00 p.m. came into the office and said somebody else must be teaching in his room at the same time. I asked him what made him say that, knowing that was not possible. He said that a note on the door said for Mrs. M's Tuesday/Thursday class to go to another room. So I looked at him with THE LOOK and I asked him, "What days do you teach?" He replied, "Monday and Wednesday." I said, "well how can Mrs. M be in your classroom at the same time when the note said Tuesdays and Thursdays." Ya'll know he felt worse than stupid. I mean, come on for goodness sake. I need more pay to deal with stupidity.

Lovingly yours,