Sunday, January 22, 2012

Babysitting duties

Hubby and I prefer our "normal" seat in church which seems to be somewhat closer to the front and Hubby and I also hadn't had little children sit with us ever since our baby will be 16 in a few days. Out of all the people that she passed before coming to us, the lady came to our pew and said she needed someone to watch her two small grandchildren while she sang. I looked at hubby and hubby looked at me. We were like, what the heck!

I wasn't used to having someone to tell to sit down, be quiet, stop playing. Then I had to find tissue in my purse because the little girl nose kept running. I am used to focusing on the church service and praising God how I want to. So I was sitting there and this little hand touched my arm and I leaned over to see what one of the young children wanted. He held his private parts and said he got to go and pee. The other one then said that she had to go and pee too. UGHHHHH. This is really one reason I don't fool with other people's smaller children. I don't even remember the last time I got up out of the middle of service and walked down the aisle so I didn't go. I asked hubby if he could look around and find an usher and have them to take the two small kids to the restroom. He looked around but the ushers were not looking our way. So he said that he would take the little boy and that he would find a female in the lobby to take the little girl. I didn't notice hubby come back but I looked around and saw where he just stayed in the back of the church with the smaller children.

Here is a rule of thumb for small children: Parents, keep your own children; if they are sick, keep them at home. If you know they are a hand full for you, they will be a hand full to somebody else. And that's all I have for now.

The water company is not my friend

I was getting ready to turn on the water to take my shower when I heard the water turn on in the other bathroom. I knew it was our daughter because hubby wasn't home and our son had previously taken a shower. I finished with my shower, got out and dried off and put some lotion on my legs. All the while, I can still hear the other shower going in the bathroom. I have often emphasized, especially to our children, that I am not friends with the water company and they are not giving me any special discounts on water either and that they should try to conserve water and to use it wisely cause they sholl ain't helping to pay no water bill.

Well after I was coming out of the room, I still could hear the water running and so I walked down the hall to the other bathroom and slightly opened the bathroom door and called out my daughter's name and told her that it is not taking her that long to get cleaned and that once again, I am not friends with the water company and she needs to shut the water off.

Our daughter answered back and this is what she said, "Oh, I had to get out of the shower and take a poo and I decided to just leave the water on while I did my business cause I knew I had to get back in there" My reply, "Duh, then turn it off when you get out and then turn it back on when you get back in." When she came out of the bathroom, I told her that she had better not do that again while living in my house or else I'm gonna have to charge her a utilities rate. She asked me if I was serious and I said that I can show you better than I can tell you.

Friday, January 20, 2012

I just know what I like

Hubby normally makes good burgers on the grill. So when he mentioned he was putting some on the grill last night, I was eager to get home and taste those delicious smoky burgers. He normally fixes my plate for me but instead he said that I should come in the kitchen and fix up my bread how I want it. No problem! We like to do burgers the old fashioned way with regular sandwich bread, so I dropped two pieces of bread in the toaster to slightly brown it, slapped a small amount of cracked pepper mayo on both pieces of bread, placed my lettuce, tomato, onion and provolone cheese onto the bread and then placed my hot juicy burger off the grill onto my bread.
I have a habit of cutting my burgers down the middle just to see if it is cooked to my liking, and so once I cut it down the middle, it wasn't the color I liked it, so I mentioned to hubby that he must have been in a hurry with my burger cause I don't do the pink thing at all. If that is what some people like, yoohoo for them, but for me, I like to have it cooked all the way through and probably darker than my skin color. Hubby said that he wasn't rushing and why did I ask him that. I told him I see some pink in my burger and I can't eat it. Keep in mind that this burger is all fixed up with the fixings. Hubby said that he will put it in the oven and let it cook some more, even though the fixings are on it, he don't mind it being crispy. He then takes the other burger that would have been his burger and go and puts it back on the grill to let it cook some more. (I didn't ask him to do that) So as he is doing that, our 15 year old son says to me, "Mom, you are spoiled." I didn't know if he was saying that to be offensive or just being funny, so I said, "I didn't ask him to go and put the burger back on the grill, I just said I couldn't eat it."

Our son then says, "Oh no, I meant you are spoiled in a good way." He said that for hubby to go and put it back on the grill means that he is trying to please me. I smiled. Our son, (15, almost 16) said, "That's good, I like to see that. I am taking notes for the future." I said, "Son, your mama just knows what she likes." And his reply was, "No, the Queen knows what she likes." I was touched.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Facial Expressions

Hubby has decided that he wants to grow a beard. I personally don't care for all that hair, but it's him. He is already 62 years old and I have told him that when he shaves, for the most part, he either looks his age or sometimes younger. But with all this facial hair growing, he kind of looks like a grandpa. The one thing that would make this grandpa-ship complete would be to go and get a rocking chair and put on the front porch. He asked me to rub my hand against his face and it felt like a cactus was chasing me. He asked me to tell the truth and say that he is sexier growing a beard. I was silent because I really can't tell him that. He knows I want him to just break out any minute and pull out the razor and make it go away.

I can write all this about hubby because I told him the same thing. He looks like the boy who cried wolf, but instead he is the wolf. Our 15 year son peps hubby up telling him that growing the beard looks nice but I tend to beg the differ. Just because I deal with it doesn't mean I have to like it. I am so looking forward to seeing shaving cream.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Miss Piggy is on the loose

I was being a hog, a pig, a porgy, a piglet or whatever you want to call it. It was just something inside me that felt that I had to go and devour.........hold up, I am getting ahead of myself. Let's slow this down a bit. It all started the day that Burger King gave away those free fries, the new fries. And I am not even a fry lover like that, but I told myself that when I found myself a lil change that I was going to go to BK and get me a large fry and just gobble them up. Sure enough, I scrounged around and found a lil change in the car and off to Burger King I went for lunch. I didn't want anything except them fries. I came back to work and just sat in the parking lot and devoured them fries. As I was reaching into the bag to get myself another fry, they were gone. I wanted more fries. I had to have more.

I told myself that I had to get me more fries, so on the next day, there I was digging in my purse for yet more loose change. Yippee!! I got it, and now I am going to get myself two large fries instead of one. As I sat there eating those fries, I began to get full and when I looked in the bag, I had tons of fries left. Whew! I took a sigh. I knew right then that my head had gotten bigger than my stomach. That was it, I don't even want any more fries for a while, no potatoes, no hash browns. Just thinking about it makes me wish I can go and get my money back. I will admit that I was being a pig and yes those fries were delicious, but it only takes one lesson to learn from.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

In and out

After I had gone to bed, an overwhelming smell overpowered me and I was actually awakened at 3:15 in dog gone morning. I was sleeping so good too, dreaming a dream like I never dreamed before. I turned over and saw hubby watching television and the smell was still there. It was so awful that I actually thought it was in my dream and that I should wake up to be rid of it.

I tapped hubby on his shoulder and asked him if he smelled that? He said no. So I said, "What is that pathetic smell?" Hubby then burst out laughing....and I sat up in bed and and screeched, "YOUR STANK TAIL POOTED". It was all under the cover and sheets. I told hubby to find air freshner NOW and spray our room. I know it was better out than in, but at 3:15 in the morning, I told hubby that something had to have crawled inside of him and just died, the whole carcas and all and that he needed an enema to get that out. I was so sleepy. I did manage to fall back asleep like an hour later and hubby still thinks it was funny. You know what they say about pay back.

Explain yourself, please!

When I walked in my office after being off for two weeks, there was a sheet of paper on my desk with instructions from the boss. So normally to make sure we are on the same page, I often will ask her if this is what she means and verbally express it. When she agrees, I go ahead and proceed to work on what she has asked me to do. So when I see this sheet of paper with a sticky on it, I go in her office and ask her if she want me to send that sheet of paper via email to all the instructors that are on that sheet. She says yes.

While I am sending this paper out via email, at the end of the email, I mention to my boss that there are two classes that do not have an instructor listed to teach those classes and she said it was ok, and to send it to one additional person to let them know they need an instructor and so I did. Well one lady responds back and say that she would like to teach the classes that do not have anyone assigned to them. I told my boss that the lady wants to teach the class and all of a sudden, the boss says, "Barbara, you misunderstood, I didn't want you to send it to every person on that sheet." I give her that puzzled look and said, "Well you said for me to send it to every person and so I did." She then said, "Yeah, I know I told you to do that but that is not what I meant." I paused and just looked at her. I didn't say anything after that.

I wanted to say something but I didn't. I just gave her that puzzled look as I was about to walk away and then she said, "I know, I know, I should have explained myself better and that I wanted only a certain amount of people on the list emailed." My point exactly! Duh!! Maybe next time she will do a better job at communicating.