Tuesday, July 27, 2010
I don't cramp and it's not the usual visit either. Aunt Flo may come in 40 days, 53 days, even 60 days. Heck, forget every 21 to 28 days with me. Not only does she show up semi-unexpected, I'm thinking why take this long trip just to hang around for 1 and half days, maybe 2, but nothing more than 2 days. (Stop hating me, I didn't create me) I do believe that there should be a period day from work (with pay) once a month for women who do cramp. Even though I do hate to see my daughter cramped up, I'd rather see period and pads than pregnancy and pampers. Who do I need to see to get this petitioned and made into a law?
Monday, July 26, 2010
With all that being said, the family and I had just gotten out of church and driving home talking about what a wonderful service it was. I mean, fresh out of church at that when the devil approached us riding a bike. I didn't see why this man riding this bike could not be up on the sidewalk, but nooooo, he had to be on the street. Not only was he on the street, he has a bike lane he is suppose to be in. Well, he staggered away off the bike lane into the street as we were driving so hubby blew his horn at him. The traffic light turned red as we approached it and the bike rider had caught up with us.
The next thing I knew, this insane maniac was tapping on our window on the passenger side where I was sittinig. I glanced over first to see if this was a person in a cops uniform and it was not so I didn't let down my window. I just looked straight ahead as if I didn't even see him. When he saw I wasn't going to let down my window, he then yells, "DON'T YOU BLOW AT ME." This is where the devil and Madea almost collided with each other. The human part inside me almost let down my window and say, "Punk if your tail ride on the sidewalk or in your little bike lane, then we wouldn't have to blow at you, you idiot." At that moment, I thought of this fool might spit in my window or he may be glocking. I wouldn't want to go to jail for beating someone with my husband's cane, especially not after the message that was just brought in church. Help me Lord!! Help me right now!!
As the light turned green, the mini-devil in my back seat in the form of a 14 year old son says, "Dad, blow at him again and lets see what happens." I looked over at hubby and said, "Don't do it, somebody has to be the bigger person here." I knew hubby wanted to do it so bad. I could smell it. He then said, "Ooooo, if you weren't in this car......him tapping my window........" I said, "Let it go hun, just let it go. The devil wants you to get all upset after getting out of church and he gonna be somewhere in a corner laughing at me and you both." Hubby smiled and we went on home and enjoyed the rest of the day.
Friday, July 23, 2010
So I walked down the hall with a little twist to my voluptious hips and he gave a whistle. I went back in the room to check out myself one last time before I took them off. I have other jeans, but these pair was like the creme' da la creme'. To my plus size ladies, be confident and get yourself some sexy jeans if you don't already have them and walk it, work it, and of course love it. As my good friend, Luv says, You gotta love you cause I sure do.
Caller: Hey, is your dad up? Now I really wanted to be really funny but I knew he wouldn't have a clue as to what I was talking about. Since my dad lives in MS, I should have said that I didn't know if he was up or not and that I'd get back to him later when I found out, but I didn't because.....well, I just didn't.
So I said no he is not up and the neighbor said well tell your dad I called.
So a few short minutes later, hubby was awake and asked who was it that called. I told him the neighbor wanted him to call back, and I told him how funny it was that he thought I was one of the teenagers. Hubby said, "You could pass for one." Ok, I'm thinking now he should really go back to sleep cause he dreaming and all I could think to say was, "Liar, Liar, pants on fire." LOL
Thursday, July 22, 2010
She said, "Mom, can I please stay on until 10:30?" Don't get me wrong, just because people say please doesn't mean the answer is always yes, so I told her no and that she is about a minute away from getting off the phone. She tells the girl on the phone she had to go but when she got off, she wanted to know if the rules can be broken in the summer and for her to stay on the phone until 11:00. What did summer have to do with it? Off the phone by 10:00 in the hot, in the cold, in a hurricane, in a twister, in a whirlwind, in a blizzard, in the spring, in the rain means off the phone by 10:00.
Well hubby was on the phone another night and 17 year old comes to me and asks, "If I have to be off the phone, doesn't he have to be off the phone?" I told her to listen while I explain a few things. I told her that me and hubby are adults (I should have said grown), and this is our house and we can do whatever the heck we want to do in our house and that we pay bills in our house and we don't have to answer to children in our house. I also said that when she gets out, she can do whatever the heck it is she wants to in her house, until then, you're stuck doing it the way I say it should be done. She said, "Well duh, that's not fair." I said, "Deal with it" as I walked towards my bedroom and had a wonderful nights sleep.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
I got ready to wash my hands and I could hear something that sounded like a "clank, clank". I looked around to see where I could hide. There was no where to crawl under or on top of so I thought I better get out of this restroom. As I pulled down a napkin to wipe the water from my hands, I didn't bother putting the napkin in the trash, I just grabbed my stuff off the floor as fast as I could and got the heck out of dodge. But holy smoker roo, when I got to the door to the hallway, it was jet black. What the ham and cheese!!! So I've heard the phrase when in Rome, do as the Romans do. So if this was a real life scary movie for me, I did as they would do and yelled out, "HELLLLOOOO" I thought I would stay up against the wall and find the emergency exit light. Right then I heard a voice that said hello back. I thought, "If this is hell, I don't want to be here."
I yelled out again maybe I could follow the voice where I heard it from. I said, "HELLLOOOO, WHERE ARE YOU?" The voice said, "I'm over here." I mean, come on seriously...saying I'm over here does not justify nothing in the dark. So I said, "Over here where?" For a minute I thought I was gonna see Ashton Kusher and tell me I'm being punked. I could hear footsteps and I yelled out, "Just turn the light on please." FINALLY, the lights come on. It was security. I breathed a sigh of relief. I said, "Geez, can't a girl go and pee before yall turn all the lights off." He chuckled and said he was sorry and that he didn't think to go in the bathroom and ask if anybody was in the building. He said he would do that the next time. Well he ain't gotta worry about me because guess what....there won't be a next time.
Monday, July 12, 2010
It just irks the 123's out of me why police think they are "above the law". When I see them putting on their lights just so they don't have to stop at a red light really makes my blood start boiling. Then we get on up the road and he hadn't gone anywhere or went right past me just so he can get to the McDonald's drive thru.
I would like to make a citizens arrest, whatever the heck that is. Do I just yell out of my window and say, "Hey cop, can you pull over?" I know we are to respect the law, but what about the law respecting the law? I should really have a bumper sticker that says, "Back off my bumper or my automatic rifle will go off." So when this cop gets behind me on my way to work, I really had this inclination to slam on brakes or go about 2 miles slower than the speed limit. I didn't do either, I just drove the way I normally do and then he jumped behind someone else to torture them. It's a good thing I had to turn right or I was about to pull out my imaginary bullhorn from under my seat. I guess it would be bad to say that Madea is my roll model when dealing with the po-po.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Judge not, lest you be judged.
Friday, July 9, 2010
I then asked my almost five year old big kid niece if she knew her ABC's and numbers and she said yes. I asked her if she could read and she said that she could not. I took out a piece of paper and wrote the word "THE" on the paper. I sounded the T and the H sound out for her and then spelled it and then said the word. I asked her if she could do it, she said yes because she was a big kid. So I told her to go in the room and practice it and then come back when I called her to see if she could read it. I let a few minutes pass and then I called her back in the room and sure enough, she was anxious to tell me what the word said. At first she spelled it out and then proceeded to pronounce it and at first she kept wanted to say "theef" and each time I would correct her and say "the" not "theef". She said she was going back in the room to practice it and when she came back out, she spelled it out again and sounded the word out and when she got it right, she jumped up and down saying she could read. Keep in mind, this is the same person who pretended to be afraid.
So we had to go to the store and my niece would not put that paper down, she practiced it in the store and then back home and when we got back home, she said that she knew her word and I asked her what was it and she pronounced it right. High fives and smiles were everywhere. So on the next day, I decided to take it up one notch. I took a bigger sheet of paper and wrote: "The cat ran." The older sistes kept saying she will not be able to do it. I told them they had to be patient with her and she will get it. So my 4 year old niece and I sat down and we went over each letter, then sounded out each word and each time she would say the word, she pointed to it and waited for my approval that she was right. So she wanted to sleep with her new paper and when she woke up the following morning, she could hardly wait to get to her new words. She called my name and said she was ready to read to me and I sat as she pulled out her paper that I had written on. She started out sounding out the T and she finally read "The cat ran." If you could have been here to see the smile on her face, it would have probably brought tears to your eyes.
The night before it was time for them to leave and go back to MS, my mom was packing up their things to make sure they had everything and she told my mom that she could not forget her paper, so my mom put it on top of the refrigerator so it would not be forgotten. When everybody got up to get breakfast and then get on the highway, my niece made sure my mother had her paper and she asked me if I wanted her to read it to me before she left. I insisted she read it. I told her that I will call her on tomorrow to see if she can still read it and ask if she would like that. She shook her head yes and I said, "Well I guess the baby is back then." She said, "oh no, the baby is not back, I'm a big kid and I can read too."
Thursday, July 8, 2010
On Saturday, her hubby grilled and it was so hot outside but we really appreciated his efforts in helping us enjoy ourselves. I asked if I could help but she didn't want me to lend a hand. I went to church with them on Sunday and then Monday it was time to head back to FL. Well I knew I was going to be able to rest, because Tuesday, my parents, my three nieces and one of nephews came to visit from another part of MS. (I knew they were coming). My mom said that since my youngest sister never takes the kids anywhere that she would bring them over to FL just so they can get away for a few days. That was nice of my mom to do that. And whenever my mom is in town, there is always going to be plenty of food around.
Enjoy life and be good to each other because you never know when it may be your last time seeing them. Family, friends and life....PRICELESS.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Well when we got a break around 12:00, I was so hungry that I thought I was going to eat the table legs. I just couldn't take it anymore and so I ate my sandwich and sipped on water until I felt a sense of satisfaction. I don't know what satisfaction I was feeling, but I could still feel the grumbling in my tummy. I had my purse and my bookbag on my arm and I looked inside hoping I would find some kind of change inside to go into the vending machine. One dime, then three dimes. I felt that I was on a roll. I sat the bookbag down and started taking my books out of it in hopes that I would roll up on some kind of change. I did the same procedure with my purse. I dug all the way to the bottom only to find lint and old receipts.