Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Birthday wishes

Wow, can you believe it? I celebrated my 41st birthday this week and I had a great time. Yes, I admitted my age and am very proud to be blessed to make it to this point. God is definitely a great God! The people at work showered me with this and that and I was indeed grateful and I never ask them for anything, they just do it out of the kindness of their heart. As a child, one may say, "What are you going to get me for my birthday?" But one lady, a few years ago, told me this: "It's your birthday, do something for yourself." Those words stuck with me and so I decided to dress it up in gold for my 41st birthday. I bought myself these pair of jeans that hubby had been asking me to get. The jeans had gold all down the side of the pants on both legs, then their was the matching jacket and of course the gold shoes. I was a superstar for a day. When people saw me come in to work, I walked in their with boldness and confidence. It was like watch out world, QueenBee in the houuuzzzeee!!! People came by and asked what was the special occasion and said that I was wishing myself a happy birthday. They were like, "you're happy you're getting older???" I would reply with a yes, yes I am. I was celebrating life, and celebrating me. I was joyful and content. I enjoyed the gifts that I was showered with but the greatest gift I had was the fact that I was alive and kicking. God woke me up not only to see another day but another year. I am thankful for today and if I never see another day, you best believe that I made turning 41 the best birthday I had ever had.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

You stank and I smell it

The fan/vent in the ladies restroom at work had suddenly stopped working. I am one to say that the value of this fan was greatly missed today. I had to use the toilet and I have come to a point in life that I am not going to be trying to hold my pee. When I got to go, I got to go. There is also a can of air freshner that is normally in the restroom but I do not know where it disappeared to today. I walked in and the smell of do-do was all around the bathroom. I tried to hurry up and let this stream of urine come out of me so I could get out of there. I was gasping for air but no air was to be found. Each whiff felt like my lungs were being contaminated. I do not know who was the person in there before me but I know they have got to feel a whole lot better because whatever they let out was happy to get out. I tried to hold my breath in the bathroom but didn't want to be found collasped on the floor in this horrible smell. That was just no way to go. I couldn't wash my hands fast enough. It smelled like two camels gave birth to a midget giraffe. The smell was hideous.

Getting to the door seemed to take forever. I thought I was surrounded by a fog of spoiled eggs on a bed of tainted calimari. Nope - it was like raw liver and fish mixed with turtle eyeballs and racoon pee that had been out in the sun for the umpteenth day. So when I did manage to open the door, I coughed profusely that I actually thought I was gonna upchuck my tongue. The smell had gotten inside my goozer and I was wishing that I could have taken my nostril lining out to wash it clean with bleach. I know that every body has to drop a turd and it may have an unusual smell but it don't linger that long, but this couldn't have been no ordinary turd from whoever was in the restroom. This person must have eaten skunk meat.

When I started coughing, the lady in the next room came to see if I was ok and all I could say was, "Pretend that this restroom is Jim Jones, so don't drink the kool-aid." She laughed out loud and I started laughing too. It was good to breathe right again. I'm gonna start carrying air fresher in my purse.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Key points

The lady across the hall from me lost her office keys. My office keys were on my desk and so she just walked over and grabbed my keys without asking. I said, "Excuse me, where are you going with my keys?" She said that she was going to go and unlock a few rooms. I looked at her like she was crazy because she knew good and well what I meant which was, "don't just come in here grabbing my keys without asking." She said, "Oh I'm sorry, I figured you didn't mind." But I do mind.

See, the principle isn't that I would mind her using the keys, the principle is that I am responsible for these keys and if she already lost hers, I need to know where my keys are at all time. Not only that, don't just be coming up in here grabbing my keys off my desk. Day number two came around and I didn't have my keys directly on my desk, I had them around the corner of my desk where my computer was sitting and so once again, the lady comes into my office and didn't see my keys and said, "Where are your keys?" I replied, "Who wants to know?" She said that she needs them. Uhhhh excuse me, don't come in here telling me what you need of mine when what you need to do is find your own keys. I said maybe if you ASK if you could use them, then I might not have a problem with it. She said, "Fine! May I please use your keys?" And just because she said it with attitude like I got to it, I almost said no you can't. So I reached from behind my computer and gave her the keys.

When she came and brought me the keys back, she just placed them on my desk and walked away...whoa, whoa, whoa WHAT? No thank you! You are probably reading this and thinking to yourself, Duh, Barbara, they are just keys but they are not just keys. These keys can open some very important things around here and my thing is this: The scripture says that if you are faithful over a few things, then God will make you ruler over many.

Anyhoo, on the third day when I used my keys to open the office, the lady across the hall was just standing there wanting to know if I could unlock her office and I just laid it on the line for her that I may not always be here and that she either needs to find her keys or pay the fine to get them replaced. I know she is just avoiding paying the fine for lost keys but she is going to need them plus it says on the keys that copying is prohibited so that is why I can't make her a copy. So later on that day when I went to lunch, I took my keys with me and left them in the car instead of bringing them back in. Sure enough the lady comes from across the hall and looks around on my desk and I asked her what was she looking for, she said that she was looking for my keys. I told her that they were in my car and that I was not going back out to the car to get them, so this time she had to call security to open up the doors for her. A light bulb went off in my head, DUH, that is what they are here for....either call them or get replacement keys. I think she has backed off from coming in my office looking for my keys after that. Good, because she was getting on my last nerve!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Deal or No Deal!

About a year ago, there was a free golf subscription just for filling out a survey and so I complied and got it for hubby, knowing my husband does not play golf nor had he even had an interest in playing golf. So when the first book came, hubby acted like he was all interested in this magazine and golf all of a sudden. Well the year is almost up for this free subscription and the golf magazine sent hubby this renewal subscription for 10.00, plus give a friend a subscription for free, plus a free bag.

So hubby mentioned it to me and I told him that we have enough bags at the house and that the deal was that yes, he find a friend to give the subscription to plus give the bag to the friend as well. Hubby said no deal and that he get to keep the bag. I did not like his answer. NO DEAL! I told him that adding another bag to the house is just stacking up on the junk that we already have and do not use. He CLAIMED he would use the bag, just like he CLAIMED he would use the other 15,999 bags....ok maybe not that many but it seems like that.

So I said ok, let's make another deal....I told him that if he gets to keep the bag that he would have to get rid of one of the 72,987 bags that he already has that is lurking under our bed and he agreed, but it was a slow agreement....but it was a start. DEAL! I WIN!

Kids say the darnest thing

I was talking to our 15 year old son one day and we were talking about peer pressure and not doing things just because everybody else is doing it. In doing so, I thought I would throw in an analogy and asked our son, "If everybody jumped off the bridge, would you jump too?" I really expected him to say, "No mother, I would not jump because everybody else is doing it and that would not be the right thing to do." Instead, this was his reply, "It depends on how deep the water is."

I was done. I threw my hands up and proceeded doing what I was doing.