Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Midnight train to...well it ain't Georgia

I don't know where the midnight train is going but it sholl won't be Georgia. Here I am sitting up way past midnight wondering what the heck is on tv but yet can't find anything except George Lopez. I am usually in bed this time of night but here I sit in my recliner (I say mine because I have left a butt inprint in it) eating leftover fried corn from the day before. And I know good darn well that corn makes me all gassy inside but I said, "what the heck, just take the risk and just poot all over hubby's leg when I do go to bed." I am on spring break this week from work and tonight is the very first night I've had an opportunity to just sit up late because the other two nights I had to go to school, which meant going to bed at a decent hour.

I told hubby that I just had to sit up late at least one night just to see if I still got that midnight skill. So far, so good. I could just go and comment on everybody's post on facebook and when they look and see what time I posted it, they will all be in awe because I am never up quite this late. They might even be inclined to call 911 and report it and say that something was mighty suspicious at my house. I could just sit and paint my nails but darn, it might hinder the children's sleep for the mighty smells of nail polish remover and then I would feel guilty because they have to get up and go to school while they whine and want to stay home with me, but that's not gonna happen. I love them but not like that. LOL at myself...really LRL at myself because everyone is now asleep. (DUH, LRL is laughing real low----I made that up, can't you tell?)

I did, however, get a chance to register for fall classes at 12:17 because when I logged on to the university's website at 12:00, EVERYBODY AND THEIR MAMA NEM was trying to register at the same time. It took exactly 17 minutes for the registration site to load. As one of my friend says, "I must be some kind of geek to register for fall classes when summer hadn't even come yet." Shoot, a girl has to do what a girl has to do. I could create me a Twitter account and then delete it once I'm sober. Yall know I don't drink cause if I put the fun in dysfunctional and I don't drink, just imagine if I did....whew, that would be some kind of skaaeerrryyy! Uh-oh, how fast does food work? The corn is about to come out of its husk and the train is still stuck on the track while flipping channels over and over and over again.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Caught off guard

As I was sitting in class trying to write notes as the instructor talked, I was caught off guard when he said, "BARBARA, so what is police discretion?" Did he just call on me and I am writing?!?! Yes he sure did. So I put down my pen and thought in the air for a minute and said, "It is when the police try to keep things a secret." He said that I must mean being discreet and that discreet and discretion are two different things.

I was like, now if he see me writing that means I'm trying to keep up with all that he is saying and if he would have discussed police discretion then come back in a few minutes and asked the class or me, for that matter, what it was, then I probably could have told him.
Don't be expecting me to know it and you haven't gone over it. I know I have a responsibility as a student but you also have a responsibility as a teach it, I learn it. I think he was just trying to play me for a fool that day cause when he asked the class to help me out, they all gave him a blank stare as if they all were a couple of deer caught up in headlights. He then proceeded with his lecture and included police discretion in it. Duh, I know what it is...NOW.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Before and After

   This is before

and this is after: 

Thursday, March 24, 2011

A change is gonna come

I have decided that I am totally crazy and that I may need a check for putting the fun in kids have told me I am crazy. My friends have confirmed it as well and I just might as well accept it.......NOT!!!

I have decided that I am going to cut my hair. That's a statement, not a question and I say that because when I tell people that I am about to cut my hiar, the first question they wanna ask is AM I CRAZY?.....The second question they ask is ARE YOU SURE?..... and the third question they ask is WELL WHAT DOES YOUR HUBBY SAY?

No, I am not crazy, not today anyway. Yes, I am sure and my hair and my hubby's hair are two different heads of hair. I don't have to get my hubby's PERMISSION to do something to my hair. We may be as one, but geez, I am my own person too. I just feel that I want a change. I've even gone to get some hi-lites put in my hair (see photo above) and the new me is gonna be steppin' out in her swagger......I can hardly wait. More to come when the change is taken place. Holla!!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Let's get ready to rumble

As I was sitting in class tonight, all I can hear was rumbling going on in my tummy. I tried to control it by holding my stomach but the noise kept getting louder and louder. At an instant, I realized it was not hunger that was making my stomach growl like it was, it was rumbling because I needed to let out a poot. At that instant, the instructor gave us all random group assignments and our group was to go first. Oh no, I felt a need to go out of the room right at that instant when our instructor walked over and asked us (Group 1) if we were ready to present. To stall a little, I asked the group if they had any questions for the instructor while he was there (and I felt that this would be my exit strategy) and just at that very minute, I felt a warm igniting poot seep through my buttocks while I sat in there.

My group consisted of 4 men and then me, one I was waiting to see if I would be able to smell anything and we could just blame it on the alcohol, on one of the stinky men that were in my group. I knew if I left to go outside that my group would be counted off points and I thought to myself that I could hold this in at least until after we were done. I heard that rumble again and so I coughed, hoping that whatever was gonna come out needed to come out at that point. Our group got up to present and I felt like I wanted to hop up there like peter cottontail and bust through my clothes like incredible hulk. So the five of us stood up front and since I was the only female, I had already told my group that I'm going first and they can go after me. They were all relieved when really I was the one who was relieved which meant I could step back and try to get this gas off my stomach. Now that's what I called relief. Whew!

Sunday, March 20, 2011


I can't believe an instructor came to my office and said, "Guess what?" I was very hesitant to answer what because of the person he is.....but to get him out of my office, I said, "WHAT?"  He said that it has been 3,000 years since Julius Caesar passed.....................................................

....................................and all I did in that moment of awkward silence was to think to myself..........................................YOU MORON OF AN IDIOT............SERIOUSLY? He has a freaking Master's Degree and the only thing HE can do is come by my office to say is that it's been 3,000 years since Julius Caesar passed? I would say I don't care....when actually, I couldn't care less than what I cared before.............................................   SERIOUSLY, MAN!

Open Hands

I don't want this to seem like I am talking about anyone.....but what's a blog for if you can't express your thoughts? I know this lady who actually goes to church with me....every once in a while. She has this daughter who comes to church.....every once in a while. I'm not a judge or a jury but don't come to church just to get something out of church in a selfish kind of way.

You see, my children were brought up in Sunday School and church....that doesn't mean they won't go astray or do anything wrong. But this lady I know know who has this daughter is a senior in high school, just like my daughter. So now all of a sudden, they want to come to church every blue moon just because this is the daughter's last year of school and I guess they are expecting something. They don't participate in any activities, don't go to Sunday School or anything like that. It's all good that she and her daughter comes to church.....but not just because your daughter is a senior now.

On days when this lady do come to church and the daughter isn't with her....she says that her daughter was sleeping and she didn't want to wake her to come to church. {Now that is something I'm definitely not afraid to do. } I just get frustrated at stuff like this and I really shouldn't let it bother me....ok I'm rambling on and on...I just had to vent.....I'll take this as my exit for now.

Wayyy too much information

Hubby celebrated his 62nd birthday a few days ago. When I asked him what he wanted to do for his birthday, he said all he wanted was an ice cream cake. I thought I could do that, nothing too expensive and I could just swing by walmart on my way from work. I did find a cookies and cream ice cream cake and he was just overjoyed at his cake. So today, while having a not so serious conversation, I asked hubby if he had eaten all of his cake up and he said that he had one piece left and that he was gonna save it for later when he gets in bed.

Not knowing that our daughter did not have her headphones on like she normally does, I said to hubby in a jokingly kind of way if he wanted to take that piece of leftover ice cream cake and put it on my belly and lick it off. From down the hall, we heard our daughter say: OMGosh that was totally disgusting and disturbing...wayyyyyyy too much info mom. GROSS.....Of course hubby and I laughed and I'm sure she will not get this out of her head for some time now.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Give me what's mine

Our 17 year old daughter came to me and said, "Mom, when I move out, will you pay a month's rent for me?" My reply was, "What's the point of moving out if I gotta pay your HECK TO THE NALL."  A few minutes later, our daughter comes to me again and said, "Mom, when I get me a car, will you pay the first note for me?" I asked her where was she going with all of this. She said that she just don't know if she will be able to make it on her own when she gets older and that she wants me to take care of her when she moves out.

Now, I don't know what other parents do but I'm not that parent and my child has lost her everlasting rabbit mind because no human in their right mind would ever bring that notion up that I continue to take care of her after she has moved out. I did tell her that she can stay here until she gets herself together and save a little money though. I told our daughter that is the point of growing up and moving on is to do things for herself and to put her priorities first. She asked me how will she eat and pay bills and still have money to answer for her was to have more than one job. She wasn't too happy about that and asked me if I was insane.

For every question our daughter asked, I had an answer for her. How will she wash her clothes? My answer is to go to the laudromat. She said she thought she could just pack up her stuff and come over here and do laundry. Hold up...I don't take my clothes over to MS and use up my mama nem water. That's their life and their house, not mine and if our children is wanting to have the title of adult, then they got to be treated like adults, even if it's that tough love mentality.

The point I'm trying to get our daughter to understand is that she will have to pay for everything herself and all she sees is that "our money" (which amounts to none) should be rolled over for her money. I was like, "WHAT???" She expects to go to work but the money she makes will be just for her and that she will "use" us for everything else. I told her that she has it all wrong and that she will understand it better by and by.

Prom, panties and pink stuff

Today was tiring. My daughter and I went to go and look at prom dresses. Oh my gosh!! I really didn't know prom dresses cost as much as they do today. When I was a senior, I do remember going to this place called Josephine's in MS where we could go and rent prom dresses and then take that dress back the following Monday. I can't find anyplace like that here in Florida. Of course I saw dresses that I like but of course the stuff I like, my daughter doesn't like. She wanted to break the bank and I told her that I had a job when I was a senior, and so therefore, I was able to help my parents with prom stuff. I know this is a once in a lifetime event but geez, we seriously need to find a place that rents dresses or I may have to take up being a seamstress.

There was one dress my daughter liked alot and it was very pink. It wasn't a bad looking dress but that 230 dollar price made me want to go and slap somebody silly. The dress was a smidgen too big and that was the only one they had. I told her that I don't think we will be getting that dress not today, not ever.

So as we were looking at prom dresses, our daughter saw a variety of underwear and stopped and said, "oooo these are some cute underwear." She started compiling her several ones and I asked her if she had any money on her, she said no. I told her that she need to put them back because she has plenty of panties and that my goal today was to try and find a prom dress. We did see one she liked, even though that price of 170 is still high, it's cheaper than 230. It's still hanging on the rack though. I don't know how my parents did this with four daughters. Any other suggestions?

Sunday, March 13, 2011

The name says it all

I have decided to rename both of my instructors, who just happen to be men. We are on spring break this week at the University. (YIPPEE....HOORAY!) I couldn't be I've decided that both of my instructors are octo-polar. Yeah, they are way past bi-polar because they have lost their everlasting rabbit mind. BOTH OF THEM. They are like eight different people at one time.

Not only did they each give us major homework last week where it took FOR-EVER to do the work, but one instructor gave us homework to do while we are on spring break and the other one is giving us a freaking test the same day when we get off of spring break. I mean, seriously! It's a reason why they call it spring break. DUH!! So I got to actually do work this week. Geeez, well just keep me in school then.

Yeah I am stull convinced, they are still octo-polar and that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Now back to homework I go.