Thursday, March 29, 2012

Don't think I'm playing

I used to tell our children that you can't go somewhere until your room is cleaned. I sort of backed off from doing that and let them go and half of the time, they would clean it when they got back. Well, our daughter's room looks like a whirlwind came through there, then a tornado came behind, and then a few pigs trumpled here and there. So since last Thursday, I told her that I know she would want to hang out with her best friend this weekend and said that she needs to get that room cleaned before then. She told me that she plans on cleaning it anyway because she did not want to leave her room like that while she would be gone for the entire weekend. I kept reminding her daily that her timeline is approaching and it is still not done. I even told her in advance that if it is not done, that she would not be going anywhere. She agreed it would be done.

When I got ready to leave for work, I see her bags packed sitting on the floor next to the couch. I asked her what were the bags for and she had no problem of reminding me that she was supposed to go over her friends house for the weekend. I told her that we had an agreement that she wasn't going until that room got cleaned. She said, "Yeah, about that, I just didn't have time." I said, "Yeah, about that, I don't have time to take you either." It may sound cruel but this was what we compromised upon was that, I do something for you, you do something for me.

It wasn't really about the entire room being cleaned. I told her that we are just trying to show her how things will be when she leaves home. She wants to go off to school and I told her that she can't keep a dorm like that, so don't keep your room like that. You can't be a responsible person away from home if you are not responsible at home because that is where it home.

Whatever makes you happy

I have a problem trying to live for other people. I do what makes me happy. I cannot be concerned about whether "they" think it is not my shade of color or whether my hair is too long or too short. I ran into this lady who goes to the same church as I do. I did not know her name but I knew her face. I stopped her and told her that I haven't see in a few Sundays. She said that the reason she has not been is because she cut off all her hair and went natural and that she did not know how she was going to be accepted with her hair like that. I didn't mean to sound critical if I did, but I said, "Really?" I told her that she has got to do whatever makes her happy and that folks gonna talk either way, if you got long hair or if you got short hair, if you got a weave, if you got braids, if your hair is looking like rainbow brite, if your hair is in tiny knots and even if you ain't got no hair. I told her that she might as well come on back to church and be herself.

I am one of those people with a plus size frame and I loves me some me and I loves myself some color. I hear the plus size people say that they are too big to wear a certain color when they see me wearing it and I'm like, did you think this up on your own or did somebody tell you that. I am going to embrace it and wear it, because first, I like it and second, it looks good on me. I also know there are people who are just unhappy with themselves. Well my thing to say about that is to change it then. Stop making other people miserable because you are miserable. If you are a plus size chic and you are not happy, then lose the weight. If you skinny and want to be more thick, eat more. I knew this guy that used to wear black every single day. I questioned him and asked him why did he wear black every single day. He said that it is what makes him happy and I left it alone.

So whatever it is, do whatever that makes you happy. If nothing is making you happy, find something that will. You only live once and since you're here, you might as well make the most out of it and enjoy it and while you're at it, throw some laughter in there too. Blessings my friends.

Don't get put out of your own house

Hubby was talking to his cousin on the phone from Mississippi when I walked in the house. They were laughing and talking about what each one of them do around the house and how their wives respond to it. Hubby was in the middle of cooking dinner and was telling his cousin that he need to go and finish cooking because I was home and it was time for everyone to eat. Before he gets off the phone, I hear hubby say to his cousin, "You can tell her if you want to, she is right here."

I get the phone and his cousin tells me that I am spoiled, cause he would not be cooking me no dinner and that when his wife comes home, that he will have the shovel and rake ready for her so they can do yard work. I laughed at it and told him that he must not know about me and that I am not getting in no yard for nothing. I told him that what goes in MS ain't the same rules that apply in FL. Hubby's cousin said that he has his wife trained and that's how he likes it. Even though it was a conversation all in fun, I told hubby's cousin not to have my hubby get put out of his own house because of some crap like that. What works in our household might not work in somebody else's.

Dirty mouth girl

Hubby and I were just talking and laughing last night and I walked over to my side of the bed and picked up a bag of cajun spiced pistachios to eat. The nuts are not that spicy, but the outer shell is sort of spicy if you lick it. As our conversation was about to end, I said, "I guess I will go in the living room and put some of these hot nuts in my mouth and make me feel good inside." There was a pause between me and hubby and so I said, "That didn't come out right, did it?" He laughed and said no it didn't. I told him it really sounded dirty and we laughed about it the rest of the night.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Blessings in disguise

Our 16 year old son wanted to go to the movies and I normally don't do last minute stuff, but when he asked if he could go on such a short notice, I did tell him yes. I think I shocked myself more than I shocked him. He immediately got to texting his two best buds to see if they could go with him, but neither one of them was available. After a few minutes had passed, I asked him if he found someone to go with and he said no but that he could just go alone.

I sat him down for a few minutes and told him that I would trust him to go alone, but it's other people I don't trust and that he should find somebody to go with because there are so many things happening in today's society. I told him to ask our 18 year old daughter if she wouldn't mind going with him to the movies. She put up a ruckus saying she didn't see why she had to go and babysit a 16 year old, and she had to point out that she will be 19 in May and didn't need a babysitter when she was 16. I told her the same thing I told our son and that so much is going on and that I don't consider it as babysitting but more as a safety person. Our daughter then said, "So if he get kidnapped, what do you want me to do?" To try to make it a lighter situation, I said, "You run and identify the person who took him."

Oh my gosh...she felt grown up when I said that and was willing to go with her brother. She kept saying to her brother that it had better be a good movie to drag her away from the house when she didn't want to go. After the movie was over and I went to pick them up, our daughter, the one who didn't really want to go in the first place, said that it was such a great movie and she was glad that she went. She is now trying to plan for another movie for them to go and watch together. Thank you Lord for that blessing. It meant alot to me.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Letting go

This post may not be somewhat funny, so that was just a warning in case you need a tissue. Go ahead, grab it now. I'll wait.
I felt the need to post this and get this off my chest. I have (had) a friend. I say have (had) because I really don't know where we stand. Anyhoo, I had this friend who I could talk to about certain things and we laughed and joked about all kinds of things. I had known her for quite sometime and most times, I would be the one who was helping her to be uplifted. She would call or text me just to say she need encouragement and I was there to help lift her spirits or just find something funny to talk about. I was the one who was there when her man left her and I was the one who was there to just listen. I never bragged about it, because I felt that part of my mission was to help people bring their laughter out.

Well one day, I realized that I hadn't heard from her like I normally did and just wanted to call to see if things were ok. There was no response when I called her, and so I figured that maybe she didn't want to verbally talk, so I then texted her and I still didn't get no response. I wondered if something was wrong cause that was not like her not to respond. I went on Facebook to send her a message to contact me, but there was still no response. I remembered a conversation a while back that she had mentioned that she was thinking about moving, so then I said to myself that maybe her phone is off because she decided to move and I'll give it a few days for her phone to get turned back on.

A few days passed, and then a week...awkward! I asked someone who knew her if they had heard from her, and they just said they have been trying to get in touch with her too but no response. I am not the kind of person to just go knocking on people's doors because one never knows what situation they will be faced with, so I just kept sending messages but still no response. One day, not too soon after that, I saw where she posted something on FB and I then commented on it and told her to get in touch with me but she did not. I kinda let it go from there, because I was the one who was trying to get in touch with her but she was not trying to get in touch with me. It kind of bothered me a little of how you can just stop being friends just like that without an explanation or anything and I know that I haven't done anything to hurt her. So another week went by and I hadn't heard from her, and I went on FB to send her a message, but she had deleted her page. WOW!

A week turned into two weeks, then three and four. My hubby asked about her and said that he don't hear me saying anything about her. I told him that I am letting the Lord work out whatever it is he is working out. I didn't bash her or anything. I also told hubby that sometimes people come in our lives for reasons, and then some for seasons and I let that go and so did hubby. I would pass by her place and wondered how she is doing but nothing more. My kids even asked about her and I would say that I think she is fine. About two months from not hearing from her, hubby and I stopped by the store for a few items and I saw her out the corner of my eye. I did a double take and looked again. I gently smiled and gave a wave and was ready to go and embrace her but she just threw up her hand as if to wave goodbye. She did not smile back and then she walked away. It was as if this was a movie going in slow motion. I keep replaying it in my mind and I need to let it go. I haven't heard from her in about 8 weeks now and I don't think she will come around.

The hard part is that I don't know what happened. We went from talking and laughing one day to strangers the next day. I have tried to reach out to her but she is not reaching back. People sometimes think that adults don't hurt and we do hurt, especially if you have been friends with someone for years and it seems like a faded memory as if nothing was ever there. The most hurtful part in all of this is that she could not be a bigger person or woman enough to come to me and say how she felt about our friendship and that something was bothering her. It's in God's hand and that is all I have left to give.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Stuck in the middle

I must admit, without sounding conceited, that I look good to be 41. I am embracing the gray hair as it is coming in and I am enjoying life even better with my teenagers ages 18 and 16. (Daughter will be 19 in May) I am so thrilled that I do not have to pack up bottles, a baby bag and baby food in small containers. THANK YOU JESUS!! I do not have to take them everywhere I go, nor do I have to pack their clothes up for them every time we go on vacation. Again, THANK YOU JESUS!

I really do love our children, but I would not want any more kids. I will hold your baby and then give it back for you to take back home. That's about it. As I looked at a few of my friends that I have graduated high school with, there are some who are already grandparents at 41.....and then there was one of my friends who decided to have another baby at 41. Her oldest child is 17. I felt like I was stuck somewhere in the middle because I sholl ain't having no more babies and my children better not come up in here with no babies, shoot they are babies themselves. They better leave them babies right where they are, in no-mans land.

I am content where God has me right now. No more babies and no grandchildren. THANK YOU JESUS!!

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Saturday blues

I was beginning to feel exhausted from work and all this major homework that I had been dealing with this week. I think I have had more homework to do than the average bear. So today, (SATURDAY) I was glad to take a semi-break from all of that work. I didn't go outside to get in the car for anything to go nowhere. Yayyy me! I didn't have to drive nobody anywhere either. Another yayyyy me moment! Well hubby wanted to know if he made some black bean chili, would I eat any. I really didn't want chili because I knew that soon after I eat it, that heartburn central would not be too far. So away he went slaving in the kitchen to hook up some chili.

Not only was I feeling exhausted but then all of a sudden, my throat started getting scratchy and I definitely wasn't in the mood to get up off that couch to fix me anything to eat. So I thought I might as well just wait until this chili get ready. Well hubby was taking forever to get this food ready. I just can't be satisfied today because at first I didn't want it, then another minute, I did want it. My ears started itching on the inside and I was hoping I wasn't coming down with something. Then I wanted to take a nap, but then I thought I should paint my nails. I think I need to go to bed now. I might feel better in the morning.