Good Friends, Good Food, Good Fun

EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT: WIVES GET AWAY FOR FUN WITHOUT CHILDREN AND HUSBAND. Boy oh boy, what a fun night it was. We had been trying to plan for a get away to just sit, talk, laugh and enjoy each others company and then it happened, a night so fun-filled that we tried to make the best of every minute.

There we are, Raemeaksha, LaVender and myself sitting at Golden Corral after we had shut the place down. Let's start at the beginning, shall we? R had sent me a message saying we needed to get together. L had been told me in church and we just needed to get the three of us on one accord. None of our schedules would fit where we could get away. So R said let's just do it, let's just plan for somewhere to go. We didn't have a clue where we wanted to go, we all were just excited to get away and have some girl fun without husband and kids.

So I called L and she said for us to meet up in one central location: THE CHURCH and then that way we can make a decision where we wanted to go. It was hard for us to choose because we don't ever get to go anywhere without someone on our tails. When I called R to tell her that we would meet up at church, she laughed so hard and then laughed harder. She said that she could see three different vehicles parked at the church parking lot at night like we had some secret meeting we were trying to attend. OK then, we settled on meeting at Golden Corral.

I was to pick up L in my car and we would ride together and then R would meet us there. We were so excited that we were on our way to nothing but fun, good clean fun for married women. On my way to L's house, my car started sounding funny and jerking, so I got to L's house and parked it. L's hubby thinks it may be the transmission, so L drove instead and I left my car at her house. When we arrived at Golden Corral, R was running about maybe 15 minutes late, and then when she showed up, we laughed non-stop. We ate, then talked, then laughed, then ate some more, talked some more, laughed even harder. We talked about how much fun this was and hoped that we could at least do this once a month. It was such a refresher just to breathe from the normal daily life of husband and children.

When we looked around, there may have been about 6 to 10 more people in Golden Corral and we decided that we should go home. Yes, we shut the place down and we loved it. This was one spectacular night and I realized that it was good for us women to just relate, release and relax.

Lovingly yours,

What to say and when to say it..Part Two

How many times has someone told you to have a nice day? Do they say it just to have something to say or do they really want us to have a nice day? What if I don't want to have a nice day but I guess since someone said it, then it must mean that I gotta have a nice day no matter what. If I don't have a nice day, I could be thrown in non-nice day jail and be a prisoner for the rest of my life. And our reply is, "You have a nice day, too" but do I really care if your day will or will not be nice. Hmmmm!

Seriously, why do we say the things we say? Are we really being truthful when we say it? Here's an example: You got your brand new Nike's on and you know you are looking fly and then someone comes and steps on your foot. The one who stepped on your feet says they are sorry and you know what we say - oh it's ok. LIAR!! It's not ok you blind moose. Here is what you really want to say: "I know you didn't just step on my brand new Nike's, you king tut look-a-like. I know good darn well that you saw this size 12 taking up a great mass of space." But yet, we smile back and say, "It's ok." And don't be in church and someone who has them 9 inch heels on step on your foot. I be wanting to scream, "Holy Mother of Krispy Kreme Doughnuts!"

When we have just learned that someone has died, are the first words you say are, "Oh, I am sorry" but are you really? Are you really sorry that someone you can't stand with a passion has died? Is it that we just don't know what to say but want our voice heard!!! Think about it. And somebody, anybody tell me why do we say, "Not my child". SHUT UP. It's your child too. Yeah your little angel at home is the same devilish person when you are away from them. Stop saying what your child won't do. That's a bunch of tomfoolery. They probably doing something now while you are reading this blog.

When asked, "what's wrong" and you reply, "Nothing", next time say this: Oh where should I start. My husband didn't put tissue on the roll again, I'm bleeding from the outside in, looking at you is giving me a migraine and if you wouldn't mind moving out of my way, I feel my fists ball up in some odd kind of way." There, well said.

Lovingly yours,

What to say and when to say it..Part One

Sometimes we get caught up with wanting to say things that we say stuff just to say it. We don't realize how stupid someone sounds until they open their mouths and start talking. And then we want to look at them like, really, was that even necessary! My daughter and I normally go to the gym together and this past week has just been busy so we didn't get a chance to go. Hubby says to me that I should go to the gym before we go on our cruise to Mexico which is like 30 days away. I'm looking at him because I do know I will be going within 30 days and I asked him why would he even mention the gym. He said so that my legs could be in great shape for all the walking we will be doing....and that, your honor is how he ended up with all his teeth knocked out. Even though I keep telling you all I am not a violent person. I really am not.

So when he said that, the first thing I want to know is, "so you think my legs are not in shape?" After all, we have been to the Bahamas twice and I did fine with all the walking and I wasn't even going to the gym then. He said he didn't mean it in that way. So why did you say it in that way? I keep telling him it's not what you said but how you said it. Moving right along.

My sister in MS has a major problem. When she and her husband are out somewhere and some woman looks at her husband, she has to get all bent out of shape, talking loud and asking the woman why is she looking at her husband and then wants to know if her husband knows the woman. So I asked her what was up with all the drama. I told her woman are going to look at him just like men look at her. I also said that if no one was looking, then you'd probably be wondering to yourself how much uglier can this person be if NOBODY looked at them or complimented them.

I got one more question. Why do we women want to know if these jeans make our butt look big? Now we know that your butt was big before you got in the jeans. All the jeans did was give it covering. Did you think it was suppose to make it shrink like 4 sizes smaller? Think again. It's still big.

Lovingly yours,

Menstrualization

Is that even such a word? Well today it is. We tend to avoid subjects such as these, but hey we know it's gonna happen and for the men either in our lives, or the men we come in contact with, they know what the deal is. They may be saying, "Ughhhhhh", and for that, we are thinking the same thing about you all, except in other ways.

Well I have never ever had a cramp in my life. I'm not boasting about it, just blessed about it. I can't tell my daughter that I know exactly what she is feeling because I've never ever been there. If it's anything like labor, Lord thank ya! So I'm telling my 16 year daughter when her cycle is to come on and that she should start taking her anti-pain relief like a day before. She says to me that I am jinxing her. Jinx? What the heck!! Do people still say that?

So I go to her on Sunday and said, "you will be abnormal probably starting on Wednesday." She said, "um, mother, could you not jinx me" and so Wednesday came and a text came through on my phone from my daughter that said, "Now I am hurting and I feel miserable and it's because of your thoughts". This child is like Satan's envy of wrath when she cramps. YIKES!!! When I got home I said to her that if she would have listened to me then she could have taken that pill and not been in as much pain. She asked me how did I become so blessed. I could not explain to her why God chose to do what he did but I know I am grateful for it.

My daughter also asked me how can I keep up with her cycle and she can't even keep up with it. I told her that I'm gonna keep up with it as long as she is under our roof and that I'd rather buy pads than be buying pampers and formula any day.

Lovingly yours,

Putting pudding on a prayer

Sounds stupid, huh for a title, but once you read on, you'll have that Aha moment. No need of beating behind the bush with this one, might as well jump right in. Hubby asked me if I didn't mind, to pass him a vanilla pudding out of the refrigerator. I opened the fridge and gave him exactly what he asked for....a vanilla pudding. As I passed it to him, he gave that look (not THE LOOK, but a look non the less). He said, "Not this one, the other one." Ok, and that is where I paused and was almost at the disgruntled stage. I said to hubby, "Did you NOT ask for vanilla pudding?" He said, "Well I meant the other one." I looked inside the fridge to make a point that there was not any other vanilla pudding. So I thought he was having a moment of senility.

I asked him if that was not what he wanted, then WHAT IN THE HECK DO YOU WANT? He said, "Oh I meant that I wanted a chocolate mousse." So then I said, "Well that's not what you asked for and then next time, if there should be one, to be more specific as to what you want." And that is where the "preaching" began.

I said, "See that's exactly how we treat God." He sat and listened because he had no idea where a pudding and prayer were going to go hand in hand. I continued, "See, we pray for something that we THINK we want, and when God answers your prayers, you be like, Oh no, Lord, this is not what I wanted." I also continued, "We pray and ask God for a wife, and then when He gives us a nagging, complaining, club-hopping, one-legged, bald, half alligator, half giraffe, our reply is 'oh no, this ain't what I wanted', but is this NOT what you asked for, you asked for a wife."

Hubby then looked at me cock-eyed and said, "You said all that to say what?" I said, "The moral of the story is to be specific, is that so hard to do." He said he saw where I was coming from and apologized for assuming I knew what he wanted. He did say he would do better. And that, my friends, will be more of a prayer, forget the pudding.

Lovingly yours,

Until death us do part? HUH!!

I often ask myself the question, "Why do people want to get married?" When we get the announcement either by mail, in person or either e-mail, I be wanting to ask the other person, "why?" Not that marriage is a bad thing, it's not, because that is God's will and that if you can't sustain your sexual desires, well it is a good thing to be married. But what about the "until death do us part"? I mean, think about it. Besides sex, what makes a person want to ask us to marry them and then stick with us until the end of time? You mean, as in, FOREVER!! .....DUDE!!

Do they see the beauty or the booty? (Ok, like I'm the only smart person one who has thought this!) When a man asks a lady to marry him for life, do he really know what he is getting into? When hubby and I were dating, and he came to me one day and said that I would make a perfect wife, I almost looked at him cock-eyed. Me? A perfect wife? Let's break this down, shall we? I said, "every night I go to bed, I have a rag on my head, now is that what you want to see every night?" His reply was, " I won't have to see you, the lights will be turned off." I'll admit it was funny but do you actually think he wants to see this rag tied around twice on my head just to make sure my hair looks good in the morning? (if that was a run on sentence, you English people, charge it to my head who is thinking this stuff)

I know we stay stuff to get the other person, but do I really want to put up with late night snoring until one or the other croaks and dies? Seriously! Do I really want to see hubby walk around with all this chest hair protruding like little ants? And I'm sure he don't be wanting to see my breast let out of their cage at the end of the day.

One of my things is that I love to write. It could be about nothing, I just love doing it. Why in the bacon and tomato dressing would you come over and ask me what I'm writing! It's sooooo obvious to me that if I really wanted you to know, don't you think I would share it with you. Like totally!

Until death do us part, huh...so you mean to tell me I have to constantly look at his cluttered dresser until I'm like 108? OMG...if I have to put that toilet seat down one more time.. scream....uggghhhhh......I'm gonna leave that one alone for now. Being single has its rewards, you know. (LOL) What are some of your quirks or qualms about being married if you have had the courage of a lion gone down that road?

Lovingly yours,

Miss Piggy would be so proud

I had to leave a little early for work the other morning. Hubby normally takes our 14 year son to school but this one particular morning, hubby had to go to the dentist, so I had to take our son, which resulted in me leaving the house a little early in order to drop him off and then get to work on time myself.

If I would have left at my regular time, I probably would have fixed myself my infamous grits which consists of a pack of instant grits mixed with milk instead of water. Then after it is done, mix a dollop of sour cream in the grits, followed by a lil' butter and cheese. Don't knock it until you try it. OMG...I can taste them now. So instead of me having time to get my grub on, I left on an empty stomach.

When I got to work, I was sooo hungry. Anything would do. I would have eaten a giraffe if it was cooked to perfection. So I'm looking through my drawers, (knowing I don't have any snacks here). But in my mind, something, anything... if two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree would have mysteriously appeared, I would have been happy.

I looked in my mini fridge that is in my office (I'm actually harboring it for about a year until a co-worker can come back for it) and I found some cheese. Oh yes, I'll eat this. That didn't do anything and then the lady who I ordered girl scout cookies from, came and brought over the cookies. Temptation had set in because I ate a whole sleeve of them shortbread cookies. Dog-gone shortbread! Tasty. I almost felt guilty but that left me in an instant. It was like the best ever.

Lovingly yours,

She almost tried me

My student assistant almost thought she tried me the other day or two or three. She is suppose to be at work starting at noon and do you know she had the audacity to be late and then put 12:00 on her time sheet! Oh but no sista. It don't work like that. She came walking in at 12:20 like she owned the world, didn't say sorry I'm late or nothing. I walked over to her and told her that I would appreciate it if she was on time for work and that she should call or something if she was going to be late.

She says to me, "I WAS here at 12:00. I was in the Math Lab." Stop the press. I told her that I don't care if she was talking to the president of the United States, when it's time to work, then it's time to work. Yes, we are all about education, but if she wanted to go to the math lab, all she had to do was come and check in and then ask if it was ok if she went back to the math lab for a little while when the work got slow. So she just took it upon herself to go to the lab and I'm waiting on her to get to work. I told her that if she can't be to work at 12:00, then she can either change her time to 12:30 or not come at all.

I know it sounds kind of harsh but this is not the only time she has almost tried me. The time before this, she comes in and starts doing her homework. I spoke with her and said that she needs to do all of her work first, AND THEN, if time permitted and that if work was slow, THEN she could do her school work but not before all the assigned work is completed. You would think I was talking to a 16 year old, but she is actually 27. I told her that her age didn't mean anything to me, she is still a student worker. She hasn't tried me again...yet or somebody ain't gonna have no job and she'll be able to spend all of her free time down in the lab as much as she wants.

Lovingly yours,

Fire on wheels

I must admit that I feel somewhat better than the last post. Moving right along. We were coming home from an evening out last night and it was extremely cold out there. So hubby turned the heat on maximum in order to get the car warm for our drive home. So instead of saying it was too hot and that the heater could be turned down, from the back seat, our 16 year daughter said, "Whew, I feel like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego."

I felt an inside chukle and hubby did turn the heat down. At least she is listening somewhat in church and Sunday School, that was a good sign that she even knew who they were.

Lovingly yours,

A Valentine's Day Drop-out

I am dropping out of Valentine's Day participation. I was gonna be in the race and at least try to win, but this year, I'm quitting. I'm throwing in the towel. I've decided once and for all this year is the year. I mean, I'm a sucker for love. I love romance movies, I love the white chocolate candy and the hugs and the kisses and maybe a little oochie wally wally. But this year, I'm just not feeling it. I usually get my parents a card and send it to them and I haven't done a darn thing. I haven't even gotten hubby a card. I've just been in this non-chalant mood and I can't even tell you why, because I don't even know why my own self.

I haven't blogged nor have I commented on other blogger pages and this is just so not like me. I feel like I am in a state of bitterness but I don't want to feel like this. I hope it's not depression. How can I be depressed when I am blessed the way I am! I've prayed about it, whatever IT is. I can see that I'm not my usual self. I am not as responsive. Hubby said something the other day and I just said, "uh huh". He asked me if anything was wrong and I said that it wasn't. How can I tell him what is wrong when I don't know what is wrong. My mother says that I am experiencing early menopause. I don't have a clue.

But one thing I can say is that this year, I'm not even thrilled for Valentine's Day like I normally am. Hubby did get me some perfume and it is appreciated. I guess I still have time to at least pick up a card or something. Our 16 year old asked me if I was gonna wear something red or pink on the big day and I usually do, and I just told her that I didn't know yet. Hopefully, this mood I'm in will be gone before then because this is for the birds, I got too much love to hand out.

Lovingly yours,

Fourteen grey hairs, now what?

Before I went to bed, I started counting one, two and then ended up with fourteen so far. Grey hairs, that is. I wasn't upset or anything. I actually think the grey hairs look nice. It just compliments my beauty. My daughter asked me if I was going to color the grey. I told her that I was not and that I thought it looks good in my head. I've seen people my age who already have either a head full of grey or halfway there. For all I know, there could be more, but the fourteen I did count were just as silky and beautiful. I couldn't stop staring in the mirror. Not because I'm conceited or anything, but the grey didn't give any warning or anything. It just popped up and there it was. It is barely noticeable but it is just soooo cute. (you probably can't see them, but they are right there on the edge)

So my daughter, who is 16 and has way more grey than I do, says to me that I am getting old. Was that suppose to bother me? I'm sure she meant it to, but it didn't. I said to her, "girl, getting old is a blessing." I've seen people who are my age and they look soooo old. When someone asked me my age at work, I asked them how old do I look first. The best one was that I didn't look a day over 35. So flattering! When I told them I would be 40 in November, the replies were, "well you don't look like you'll be 40." Well I will be. Then they asked how old hubby is, and I said that he is 60 and will be 61 in March. Yes, there is a 21 year difference.....and?.....

I don't drink and I don't smoke, so the grey doesn't bother me knowing I am aging gracefully and loving it. You've got to love yourself and be happy no matter how many grey hairs come. This is just the beginning and I'm here to embrace it. Watch out world, there's a QueenBee coming to your town!

Lovingly yours,

Time is of the essence

I received a call from our 16 year old daughter saying that their weightlifting match has been cancelled. I said to her that I didn't get off until 4:00 and that she would just have to stay there until around 4:15. I told her that she could just sit and wait for me because I was in the middle of something at work and just couldn't up and leave. I specifically told her that I would be at the school at 4:15 and that she needed to be at the same spot where I normally picked her up from.

As I was coming around the mountain corner to let her know I was almost at the school, she tells me that she will be out no later than 4:30. Come out of where? Didn't she tell me weightlifting has been cancelled!! Hmmm, I'll get back to that later. So I am at the school in my normal parking spot where I have to go and pick her up and I'm sitting there listening to the radio and cleaning out my car. So I call her on the cell and say, "I am in this parking lot and you need to find your way to me right now or you gonna find yourself walking home." Why did she put her friend on the phone and I can hear her tell her friend, "Tell my mama where I am." WHAT THE HECK!!

As soon as the friend got on the phone, I said to her, "I don't want to talk to you." I can hear my daughter ask her, "What she say?" And the friend said, "she said she don't want to talk to me." So when my daughter gets back on the phone, she is telling me that she is at ROTC practice with her friend, Galen. I said to her that she had better have her tail at the car in less than 2 minutes or she will find herself walking. She wanted to know if I would drive around and come and get her. I told her I would not because I told her to be at the car at 4:15 in the normal parking spot and she wanted to debate that it would take longer than 2 minutes to get to the car. I hung up the phone at that point.

I see my daughter and her friend running towards the car and out of breath when they get there. Galen wants to start talking when they arrive at the car. She begins to tell me it's her fault that my daughter was not at the car at 4:15 like I said. I told Galen that my daughter has a mind to think with herself and when I say be somewhere at a certain time, I mean be at that place. They both said, "yes ma'am." I continued and told Galen that my daughter probably won't be talking to her on the phone in the next month nor texting her because she was being punished for not obeying what I said. They both said, "yes ma'am" again. (Oh did I mention the doors on the car were still locked and they were standing outside. I needed them to hear what I had to say.) It wasn't the point that my daughter was watching Galen practice ROTC, the point was when I had told her to be there at a certain time, she was not. She could have even asked to stay longer but since she didn't, my time was of the essence and when I was ready to go, I was ready to go.

Lovingly yours,

I think I must be in the wrong profession

Strange, and yet stranger things have been happening at work. Let me back this train up, there are some strange people here, especially in my department. I don't know why they say the things they say or even do the things they do and then make it an open announcement about their stupidity (faculty and students alike). I'll just begin by saying a student came into my office to get a paper signed. I looked up her info to see if everything was correct and that she was indeed a full time student. The next thing I know she says, "Oops, excuse me Ms. B, but I just pooted." Did this college student just tell me out loud that she passed gas! What the ham and cheese sandwich is this? I said, "you pooted? in my office?" I was appalled (if I'm even using this word in the right context) but I just didn't know what to say after that except for

The next reason I know I must be in the wrong profession is that an instructor comes and asks me if I had a pencil sharpener to go in the classroom. I said to him that I do have one but not the old kind that used to be up on the wall. He said whatever I had, he would take. So I had a battery operated one and gave it to him with 4 AA batteries. He came back in less than ten minutes and asked me if I had a screwdriver. I wasn't following him so I asked him what did he need a screwdriver for. He said to unscrew the screw. I said to him that the screw holds the sharpener together and it wasn't to be unscrewed. And then he said, "OH!" I mean, come on people make your degrees work for you. Then he came back again and said the sharpener doesn't work. I knew it did because it was brand new....so I took it and looked at it....how about the paper that comes packed with it was inside the battery compartment. DUH...he must have felt really stupid.

And the last reason I know I must be in the wrong profession is that another instructor who teaches a Monday/Wednesday class at 1:00 p.m. came into the office and said somebody else must be teaching in his room at the same time. I asked him what made him say that, knowing that was not possible. He said that a note on the door said for Mrs. M's Tuesday/Thursday class to go to another room. So I looked at him with THE LOOK and I asked him, "What days do you teach?" He replied, "Monday and Wednesday." I said, "well how can Mrs. M be in your classroom at the same time when the note said Tuesdays and Thursdays." Ya'll know he felt worse than stupid. I mean, come on for goodness sake. I need more pay to deal with stupidity.

Lovingly yours,

What did you just say?

Hubby and I had a debate that I was hoping would not end up in an argument. See this is what happened. We both were sitting in the living room and when I got up to go into the bedroom, he said to me, "Go get me some water." Now let's go back for an elementary lesson. In grade school, a sentence like that meant that "YOU" was the subject of that sentence and go was the verb. Also in grade school, we were taught our manners like please and thank you. Ok, now that we are up to speed on things, when he said, "go get me some water." I said, "What did you just say?" I heard what he said, I really didn't want him to repeat himself. I said to him, "You know what, you have a problem." Ok, I will admit that it came out differently than what I thought it would. (He was suppose to cry laugh)

He said, "well what kind of problem do I have." I told him that he's got a problem saying please and thank you and do you mind. I told him that it's easier to say it to other people but not to his wife. Ya'll, I already knew this was about to start into something where I didn't want it to go. He sat back in the recliner as if to say this woman is out of her mind. I told him that married couples tend to get comfortable with one another and think the rules doesn't apply to marriages. I know I probably sounded like a nagging drag queen but I would like it if my husband asked me sometimes than assuming I want to, even if it is just water. It could be something else the next time.

Hubby then replied in his own way. He had the audacity, with a capital A to say that where he is from they don't talk like that and it's just understood. (Refer back to elementary subject and verb) I said, "well when in Rome, you do as the Romans do." He then said, "just because I don't say please, thank you or whatnot, that doesn't mean that I don't love you." Hellllooo, Tina Turner moment...what's love got to do with it! Ain't nobody said a dog gone thang anything about no love. I just simply said it would sound better than trying to demand me to do it. Do you mind getting me some water, or could you please get me some water surely sounds a whole heck of a lot better than go get me some water....and it was in that male macho voice., no way.....yes way!!!!

After all that, hubby then says I'm not acting Christian-like... and you see your honor, that is how he ended up in a straight jacket.

Lovingly yours,

You had to have been there

So I get up early Saturday morning to go and take a test to see if I qualify to work with the census. I was told to go to a local church in the area and since the test started at 9:00 a.m., I was to be there at 8:45. Not a problem. I left the house around 8:15 so that would give me plenty of time to get there. I arrived at around 8:25 and just sat in the car. No one was around, except me. I looked back on the paper where I had written down the address and yes, I was at the right place. Around 8:40, I see a white truck slowly driving down the opposite street. I thought, "Finally, someone is gonna come and open up the door." Then the truck got slower and then turned and then made its way back up the street again. At first I thought someone was coming to open the door then the devil got in my head...maybe someone is about to come and kill me in broad daylight and drag me in a wooded area. I made sure my doors were locked and had my phone in my hand. Ok shake it off QueenBee, you are not insane!!

The white truck must have been wondering if they were at the right place because my truck was the only vehicle there. Finally it pulled in and parked and then about a nano second after that, another vehicle pulled in. So I sat in my truck to see what the others were going to do and they stood up and looked around the place and I thought I should get out too. So I get out and the front door is locked. Ok, wait a minute, I'm at the right place...ON TIME...and the dog-gone door is locked. It is now 8:46 and it's cold. So I get back in my truck and just wait and see what will happen. There is this woman who showed up and went and walked around the back and finally found a man and he told us to come around that way.

Once I was inside, the instructions said for us to fill out the information how the example was and I did that. The instructions said for us to find our map code on this giant map and I did that and went and took a seat. This same woman said she was there to re-take the test and the man who was giving directions said that she needed to find her map code on the map. She said that when she went and took it the first time, that the guy didn't have her do that. This man said that if she couldn't it the way he wanted it done, then she could just leave. So it was 6 of us in the room and we couldn't get started until Ms. Know it all finally shut the heck up. She kept debating with the man, "well why I gotta do it this way" or "that's ridiculous" "are you sure about that".... I so wanted to throw a brick at her if I would have had one, not to kill her, but for her to stop talking so darn much. Can you actually imagine the headlines in the paper!

Lovingly yours,