Thursday, September 17, 2009

Let bygones be bygones

People that I've known would often ask me to come and do this or that with them. I tell them that I don't do those things anymore. "Well you used to do it. So now you think you are something, huh". The remarks I would hear. No, I don't think I'm no better than the next person but why can't people let the past be the past. We have all done things, said things, or even gone places we know good and well we shouldn't have been but once we become new creatures in Christ, all that has been washed away. If God has forgiven you for whatever it was, what makes man your judge and jury? We all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Heck, we are guilty by association of some folks. I can only speak for myself.

My youngest sister has been telling me for 14 years that she is gonna leave her husband because she can't stand him and for things he has done. I'm not gonna tell her to leave him but if you're gonna do it, do it and then be done with it. Forgive and then move on. That is why I can't understand when I hear people say that haven't spoken with their mom or dad or anybody in years because of something someone said and upset them. I'm like, so you're holding a grudge and getting an ulcer all at the same time. What is the point in staying mad at someone for years? Move on and bury that crap. It's ok to get angry, God got angry. But he didn't stay angry. Get angry, but sin not. Stop holding on to stuff that is doing us no good. Stop bringing up stuff that we "used to do."

Sometimes it may take you to be the bigger person and apologize even if it's not your fault. WHAT!!! Is QueenBee off her rocker? Not just yet. I have this friend and we got upset with something a few years ago. Whoever was in fault, I don't even remember, but I called her and said that I was sorry that we haven't talked and I wanted to know what could I do. You know she thanked me for that because she said she wanted to apologize but just didn't know how. Ok, we let it go and for the life of me, I don't even know what had us both in such a rumble. Life is so darn short. Embrace the moment. Let the dead stay buried. Forgive, love, laugh and let bygones be bygones.

Lovingly yours,


  1. HoneyChile...this is one of the hardest topics in life (I think), i.e. forgiveness. I had recent experiences - wanting to just move on, but others wanting you to re-live a bad experience every time they came around. No ulcers for me! I've learned to let go. I ask them politely to do the same. Sometimes people agree to disagree, sometimes, we are able to find common ground. As you said, life is too short to figure out some situations, and thus....we gotta learn take the hits, and keep movin' forward.

  2. This reminds me of what my Pastor & his wife say all the time. Forgiveness is not for the other person its for you. The other person has gone on with their life & your still harboring resentment or unforgiveness & its just hurting you.

  3. I want to say girl I know what you mean but then I'd be a hypocrite because I am currently holding a grudge, (did I just admit that?), but weirdly, since I've stopped talking to this person she treats me totally different, in a good way!


  4. Yes, you hit the nail on the Head! My sister is not speaking to me and it hurts really bad because we have always been so close. The reason is financial which makes it worse. I love her and miss her but, what can I do? I've reached out and I get nothing back. I'm thinking about doing a blog about us and linking it to FB because she reads my stories. All I can do is ask God to unharden her heart!
    Love this post:)
    Ms. Wanda

  5. What a great post! It made me think of a fight with my in- laws that maybe I just need to bury it and move on. I should be more forgiving.

  6. People change. I used to be able to go out and party late. Now, by 2am I'm starting to feel like I'm going into a Coma!

    I'm so young, but I'm doing so much that I just dont have the energy at the end of the day anymore.

  7. sometimes it's hard to let go and let God. i laugh at the faces when i tell people that i go years without talking to my parents...but it's not because i hold a grudge it's because i value the lil bit of peace i have..

    so i protect it.

    but i used to hold grudges and it just made me sick cuz i had to constantly remind myself why i was mad so that i could stay i let it roll and keep it moving