Chivalry is not dead

No matter how much I think I'm going to do something for myself, hubby always steps in and says "no, you go and sit down, I got this." When I get ready to iron my clothes, he wants to do it. I try to help out in the kitchen, he tells me that I should go and rest because I've been to work all day. Dinner is ready when I walk in the house. The laundry has been done and all he is waiting for is for my presence. He fixes my plate for me without me even asking. He comes and opens the car door for me and helps me in and out the car. He holds my hand when we walk into a building and then he will open the door for me. He goes out in the middle of the night when I even mention to him that I wish I had a pint of blue bell homemade vanilla ice cream. I don't expect him to do it but he will sneak away and get it when I leave the room. He knows I love "peach less" peach cobbler and will make it on a whim. I know, I know, you're wanting me to tell you what is peach less peach cobbler....well, it's peach cobbler without the peaches...he uses the juice and I tell ya, the crust by itself is simply awesome.

But then a thing happened and my hubby had me laughing hysterically. I gave blood for the very first time yesterday. There was a blood mobile at our church and hubby asked me why don't I give blood...I hesitated and said...well I've never given blood before. He asked me if I wanted him to come and hold my hand....I said no, but I really did want him to. So he went inside the church and when I walked into the van, the people were asking me questions if I had eaten breakfast yet. I told them I ate a cup of yogurt so they flooded me with sprite and a granola bar and said for me not to do anything for the rest of the day. After church, hubby saw me sitting in the chair in the foyer waiting on him. He asked if I was ready to go, I said yeah. We walked to the car and instead of him helping me in the car yesterday, he hopped in the driver seat and I just stood by the door. (He knew I was being funny)

He said, "are you getting in?" Laughing I said, "I just gave blood and now I'm cripple for a few hours and I can't put pressure on this arm to get in the car." So he laughed and was just about to get out the car to come and help me get in the car, but my daughter said, "I'll help her in." That was touching but I didn't really need help. I was just messing with hubby because we joke like that....I went ahead and let daughter help me in the car anyway. We went home and hubby gave up his recliner for me. He then went in the kitchen and started cooking. He told me to rest and just enjoy the day. So for all you hopeless romantics out there, don't give up hope. Your husband will come around.....in one way or another. Until next time.

Lovingly yours,

The calm

You know when people want what you have and can't get it, all kinds of things will start to come out of their mouths. Vicious things, crazy and insane things that doesn't even describe you. Well someone said something about me. You know, the one who always stays in her office, the one who is always on time for work, the one who does what she has to do and go home. Yeah me. So one of my co-workers came and told me that someone had said something. I said ok, but I kept working as if it didn't bother me. Well, it didn't bother me. She asked me how could I just sit there and act like I wasn't upset. Well, that's because I wasn't upset. I ain't got time for all that he say, she say crap.

I know that if Jesus was mocked, ridiculed, betrayed....how then would I expect myself to be any higher than he? I mean, He is the King of Kings for goodness sake and if I am made in the image of Him, do I expect I would get some type of better treatment? Nah, don't think so. I told her that whatever it was that God has my back. I told her that people gonna talk if you do good and they gonna talk if you do bad. Pleasing folks is not even in my repertoire....and I, yes I, have done things in my life that I'm not proud of, but I have only one judge, one jury, one redeemer, one Savior and as long as He has forgiven, that's all I need right there.

Lovingly yours,

Curiosity killed the cat

Ok, I need some advice of my own. How do you know if you're going through pre-menopause? Peri-menopause? or what other names there are out there? What is the normal age? I mean, my mom went through it early in life like mid-40's. I am always hot and I heard this is one of the things that is associated with it. Not to mention that my cycle has a mind of its own. It didn't come on for 60 days and then there it was....then it was 45 days and so forth and so on. What is pre verses peri? Ok, I'm curious, so if you know anything about it, please send me a shout out.

Lovingly yours,

A change will come, BUT not today

If you think you will change your spouse, then give it up, it's not going to happen. If I've heard it once, I've heard it twice, "Girl, he will change once he gets married." Ha!! Not even. If you met your spouse in a club, then don't expect him to change once the ring is on the finger. My story is this, my husband is a hoarder, not in the bad sense of the word; but a hoarder just the same. I should have known that when I saw all this stuff at his place that he wasn't going to let it go. I didn't expect to change him, I did expect him to change on his own with him knowing the type of person I am. Not even! Why does he have to keep everything and then make it messy. He has a chester in our bedroom and I have a dresser. My stuff is all organized on my dresser with nail polish, perfumes, lotions...you know, the girly stuff. His stuff on his side of the room, well, it's manly. I don't mess with his stuff, and he doesn't mess with mine. HOWEVER, I go in our bedroom one evening and he has flooded my space with his stuff. THAT'S THE POINT IN US HAVING OUR OWN SPACE. (that was a yelling moment but not at you all)

So in my very sweet and loving voice, I say, "Honey, can you please move your stuff off my dresser and put it with your stuff?" He says that he will but was just feeling kinda lazy and will move it later. Later to me meant by the time I got off work the following evening...later has turned into 3 weeks. I kindly remove his stuff and put it on his side, but somehow, more junk ended up on my side. You have got to be kidding me! I asked him what was the big deal in him putting his stuff on my side. He said it was just closer. I wasn't asking him to move it out of state, just across the freaking room. Why are there empty medicine bottles, old appointment cards after he's gone to the doctor and other stuff just taking up mass? He says, "Oh you can just throw that stuff away." No honey, YOU CAN JUST THROW THAT STUFF AWAY.

I feel like Old MacDonald. Except for a quack quack here, He's got stuff here, stuff there, here a stuff, there a stuff, everywhere stuff stuff. It doesn't just stop at the bedroom either. There is stuff on the couch and I can see if it was all nice and neat - Ba humbug! You ever seen someone who is wearing spandex and their behind is way too big for it - that's how I feel about hubby's stuff ----it's all a hot mess. Well he keeps telling me that he is going to either move it or throw it away. I don't even ask anymore, I'm tired. I just look at it and shake my head. Then he'll say, "I know, I know." All I know is that a change will come, but if I'm expecting it today, it just ain't gonna happen.

Lovingly yours,

Don't try to be like the Bedenfields

There are some mornings where I get to work early, some mornings I am here right on time. It's not that I don't leave my house early enough, it's just that maybe I'm slowed down by a school bus or something unexpected. Well this particular morning, I decided to stop and grab me a sausage biscuit from What-a-burger because I had way too much time on my hand and it was humid outside, so I thought I would go in my office and sit and eat my breakfast. Since I was a little early, I just knew that nobody would come in my office requesting anything that early in the morning....wrong answer. So I am sitting there trying to eat my sausage biscuit in peace when one of my co-workers comes in and says, "So, what ya got there?" Now, the inevitable is that I'm eating a sausage biscuit, right? I could have said that and let it be done, but I knew that is not the answer he would have been seeking, so I said, "a sausage biscuit from What-a-burger." Ok now can I eat.....um, sorry....he then asked me, "so how much did that cost ya?" Ok, look Mister, I want to eat my food.....GO AWAY...come back when I am actually on the clock.

I said it cost me $1.49...he then had to comment that he can't believe I spent a whole buck and two quarters on a sausage biscuit when Burger King had one for 69 cents. I said that I didn't want BK, I wanted just what I paid for. He said, "Oh I would never pay that much for a sausage biscuit. How do you afford to do it on a salary working here?" I wasn't trying to be ugly but does it matter how much I paid for my food. Some people I know have fancy houses, fancy cars and all that good stuff, but baby, I can't try to live the life of nobody else. I'm just thankful that I have a house to live in and not living under the bridge. If anybody comes to my house, and it's not clean enough for your standards, you have two options. You can either clean it the way you want it and I'll be fine with that or you can leave. My family and I live the way we want to live and we don't have to give justification as to why we do the things we do or don't do.

Some people may can afford to eat out every day, The Bedenfields can't and we don't try to. I'm happy that some of you can do that. But just because we do things one way and you do things your way doesn't mean my way nor your way is wrong. Don't misconstrue things. Everything that glitters ain't gold. Don't try to do it how we do it. You have no idea what we even had to go through to make it happen. Just be you and you'll find yourself a lot happier than trying to be like someone else.

Lovingly yours,

Let bygones be bygones

People that I've known would often ask me to come and do this or that with them. I tell them that I don't do those things anymore. "Well you used to do it. So now you think you are something, huh". The remarks I would hear. No, I don't think I'm no better than the next person but why can't people let the past be the past. We have all done things, said things, or even gone places we know good and well we shouldn't have been but once we become new creatures in Christ, all that has been washed away. If God has forgiven you for whatever it was, what makes man your judge and jury? We all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Heck, we are guilty by association of some folks. I can only speak for myself.

My youngest sister has been telling me for 14 years that she is gonna leave her husband because she can't stand him and for things he has done. I'm not gonna tell her to leave him but if you're gonna do it, do it and then be done with it. Forgive and then move on. That is why I can't understand when I hear people say that haven't spoken with their mom or dad or anybody in years because of something someone said and upset them. I'm like, so you're holding a grudge and getting an ulcer all at the same time. What is the point in staying mad at someone for years? Move on and bury that crap. It's ok to get angry, God got angry. But he didn't stay angry. Get angry, but sin not. Stop holding on to stuff that is doing us no good. Stop bringing up stuff that we "used to do."

Sometimes it may take you to be the bigger person and apologize even if it's not your fault. WHAT!!! Is QueenBee off her rocker? Not just yet. I have this friend and we got upset with something a few years ago. Whoever was in fault, I don't even remember, but I called her and said that I was sorry that we haven't talked and I wanted to know what could I do. You know she thanked me for that because she said she wanted to apologize but just didn't know how. Ok, we let it go and for the life of me, I don't even know what had us both in such a rumble. Life is so darn short. Embrace the moment. Let the dead stay buried. Forgive, love, laugh and let bygones be bygones.

Lovingly yours,

Hair today, gone tomorrow

There it is, I see it, I got it with the tweezers....now PULL. What is up with those ingrate chin hairs that come out of no where? I'm gonna pull it, yes I am. Some people say not to pull the hairs, but I'm gonna pull the hairs. Some people say it will grow back thicker, but still I'm gonna pull the hairs. It may not bother some, but it's got to go from me.

There are two women I work with. One has tons of facial hair and the other one has a moustache that is fit for a king. Personally, I couldn't do it. I would either have to get waxed, have electrolysis done or just shave it. So what if it grows back thicker; I would have me a stash of hair removal just like I keep a stash of pads and tampons. The hair would have to be gone every single morning before I walked out the door.

So one of the ladies I work with, her facial hair is very noticeable. I try not to stare at it when she comes to my office, but the makeup that is overlaying it makes my eyes wander in different directions. I keep telling myself not to make a face because my expression will surely show. As far as the other lady with the moustache....OH MY GOSH.... it has grown over her lip and it is all scraggly. She had better not go to sleep at my house because I will make the razor do what it do.

Lovingly yours,

Your allowances have been met

My kids have asked me several times as to why they don't get an allowance. I said, "but I do give you an allowance." My daughter said, "Well, where is it?" And I had to break it down like this.
I allow you to live here
I allow you to sleep here
I allow you to eat here
I allow you to bathe here
I allow you to get dressed here
I allow you to ride in my car
I allow you to speak at times when you're not even spoken to - MUST I GO ON?

And then my daughter says, "Oh mom, you're too funny, I mean can we have it in payment." Sure thing kid, here you go:
I pay the electric bill - are the lights not on in their rooms?
I pay the water bill
I pay the car note and insurance in order to allow you to be chauffeured around
I pay the cable bill, mainly for hubby and me, but heck everybody can use it
I pay the mortgage that gives privileges to allow you to live here.....MUST I GO ON?
And the last thing I heard was Ugggggghhhhh!!! Ok, hopefully they get the point.

Lovingly yours,

Like Mother, like daughter

The saying, "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" is about me and my daughter. The child is 16 and on most days she drive me nuts. No, not as in crazy, but just whatever it is I'm trying to say but can't say it. In our house, there is one mother, one father, one daughter, one son. With that being said, my daughter comes into my room and uses stuff like my brush and my comb. I can't stand that because she has our own. I put my stuff back when I'm done using it and so when I went in there, I see that my comb and brush has not only been moved, but used. I call her name through the house and tell her to clean out my comb and to put it back where I had it. Her reply, "Oh Mother, what makes you think it was me?" Hmmm, let me see, thoughts of preponderance of the evidence comes to mind....two females here, check. Both of us have hair..another check. She laughs but I am for real. I ask her why does she have to come and use my stuff when she has the same thing. She said, "Duh, mom, I just like being like you." Now that does sound darling and all, but if you know my daughter like I know my daughter, that is a suck up and a scheme for me to allow her to continue doing it. Teenagers are con-artists.

So there it was, an out of place bottle on my dresser. I know it wasn't me because I personally feel that everything has a place. I went closer to check out the misplaced item. My perfume bottle had been moved. That darn peskitty teenager!!! I went up to her and started sniffing her. She said, "Mother, umm, what are you doing?" I said, "Oh wow, you smell nice, what are you wearing?" She tells hubby, "I think she's on to me." Ok they thought it was funny and so I told 16 year old to stay out of my stuff. If she ask me can she use it, the answer might be no, it might be yes. But to go into my stuff and then not to put it back just makes me qwiver in me timbers.

But wait...there's more. Hubby is part culprit of this scandalous operational endeavor. { (I know yall like me using these big words, right!! :-) } 16 year old wanted to wear one of my watches. I wasn't home, so she had the audacity to ask hubby if she could wear one. He said that she could. I told him that he don't authority privileges to tell her that she can get my stuff. He said that he just knew I wouldn't mind. Well if you think that, my thing is to leave my stuff alone. I then have to go to her and ask for my stuff back. She doesn't care about her own things so I know she isn't going to care about nobody elses. She just handles everything all rough and has this nonchalant attitude like, "Oh well, if it breaks, ok."

I know you are probably saying that it is just stuff, material things. My thing is this: if we don't take care of what we have, how we gonna be able to take care of bigger things. We ask God for a house, but can't even take care of an apartment. He said that if we are faithful over a few things, He would make us ruler over many.

Lovingly yours,

Come and grab your grace

I remember when Momsweb posted about me when I first started my blog and I never thought I'd be on here boosting a special person in my life. Her name is Pamela and she is my cousin whom I love dearly. Pamela has started a blog It is by grace and it is awesome. She has put more stuff on her blog than I've done with my own. She is a very spiritual and blessed person. She is married to an awesome guy and home schools her three beautiful children. When you get a chance, go by her place and show some love and tell her that QueenBee sent you.

Now don't forget to come back now, ya hear.

Lovingly yours,

Time for letting go

Well here is an update of what came about with my office assistant. The 18 year old did not show up for one single day. No phone call, no nothing. He had until Thursday of last week to get in touch with me regarding this job. Well, well, well - he didn't, so I moved on. I must say that God always has a ram in the bush. I was sitting at my desk and when I looked up, there was an office assistant that had worked for me in the past. I thought maybe she came by to get a reference for a job but what she wanted was a job. How awesome! Here's the situation: This is a temporary job and I let the people know this before they agree to work in my office. We are given just so much money for the term and when the money runs out, well the person who I have as an assistant has to go. Boohoo!!! :-(

Anyhoo, this person I had about a year ago comes into my office and I tell her again that this is temporary, she said she knows, but anything sounds good when you don't have any money. She is familiar with how we do things and she doesn't have a problem with our work ethics. Even though the other person didn't show up, I had to move on and find someone else. She will start work today (hopefully). My point is this, even when you've tried and tried and given your all, you've given chance after chance, sometimes it's just time for letting go. Now I'm not telling anybody to leave their spouse or significant other, but if you are in a bad relationship, and you can't see the light for the darkness, it may be time for letting go.

Lovingly yours,

Children learn what they live

I must admit that I am not the best mother in the world. To some I am a saint, to some I am not. Every parent has their own way of parenting; whether you may think what I do is wrong with how I raise my kids is vaguely an opinion. This stirred up something within me when I saw Super nanny on TV. I was watching it just because my daughter was watching it because this isn't my typical type of show. Well I was looking at all these bad children running around and screaming and it just unnerved me. My daughter asked if she and her brother ever did that and I told her no because I whipped that tail. Now some of you parents may not have or may never will whip your children. That's your style. I have. The Bible speaks of sparing the rod and spoiling the child. I did not spare the rod when my children were smaller; but I didn't abuse them either.

I have spanked and punished them because children will only go as far as you let them go. So while my daughter and I were watching this insane show, we talked during commercials about things I did not put up with. She is laughing. When my children were little, I didn't let them say any ole thing. Some parents think it's cute. I didn't. I nipped that right in the bud. Children will pick up stuff from TV, school, or even family. One little boy on Super nanny, age 3, told his parents that he was done pooping in his pants. They laughed at it but in my own personal opinion, if you can say it, then you can do it on the potty. End of discussion.

It is our responsibility as parents to teach our children, according to Bible, how they SHOULD go. That doesn't mean that is the way they will go. But at least we will have done our part. I remember when I was a teenager, my parents took us to church day and night. For a minute I thought I should set up residence at the church. If we, as parents, train our children to sit still, and be quiet sometimes, they will. I would let them cry for a while before I ran into their rooms so they could see that I wasn't gonna jump at their every beck and call. Train up your children, stop putting them off on everybody else and the world to train them, cause if they come to my house, I'm bound to whup (not whip) somebody. Until next time.

Lovingly yours,

A Reunion and then some

This past weekend was a stress reliever for all. We had been anticipating this reunion for quite some time. Some of us had to fill in where people didn't fulfill their part in this reunion. Since our last reunion two years ago, the reunion committee had been in process planning and gathering information to make this reunion a great success. Well about three weeks ago, my mom called me and said she needed me to help out because of a certain family member didn't do their part. I agreed to do it and I must admit that it all came together beautifully. The reunion was on the MS Gulf Coast, where I am originally from, and people came from here and there to see family. We only get together every two years and it's amazing how people change from year to year. I was glad to see everyone who came and oh my gosh, there was enough food there to feed an army. We did miss those who couldn't attend but we do love them just the same.

And then, there was also another reunion going on that same reunion. The past youth choir members, along with present members, had a reunion also where we all got in the choir and sang together. Now, I will admit that I can't sing but my parents made me sing in the choir as a child. I wasn't going to get up there with them, but my sister told me that it would be fun, so I did. Since I didn't get in to town until Friday night, that was my only rehearsal and on Friday night, we sounded like a bunch of horses pretending to be pigs. We sucked big time. I didn't know how this was going to turn out on Sunday. We were going to have to expect a miracle.....and a miracle did happen. Sunday morning we all had on our black and white, and once the musician and drummer got their stuff together, we sounded like professionals. I surprised myself. We got standing ovations and everything. I did have fun at both reunions but thank Jesus it is all over.That is me 4th from the left with the short hair cut on the second row. The 3rd from the left is my sister and the 5th from the left is my other sister.

To all my readers and followers

Just a quick note to say that I know I haven't been on your post leaving a comment but it has been hectic these past few weeks. After my new boss came July 1, there was and still is a lot of stuff I have been teaching her. Along with that, since I don't have an office assistant yet, I've been doing my work and then some. I am still working out, even though this sexy thing I have going on is just getting sexier and sexier by the minute...BAM!!!! After I leave work, I then go and take my son to football practice which ain't no thirty minutes either. Well I am still around here...somewhere. Yall keep writing, do your thang. Trust me, when you see me on the scene, you'll know things have calmed down a bit. Does anybody need a job being my office assistant in Pensacola? You can work 15 hours a week, and the pay is minimum wage....the 18 year old that I thought was gonna work is not going to work. He hadn't even made an effort. Oh well.