Hubby and I had sat down and talked one evening and he asked me about an idea that was on his mind. I told him that I didn't think it was a good idea and told him my reasons why I thought that. He then agreed with me and then we settled it....or so I thought. Yesterday when I came in from work, he said that he did something that I might not be happy with. So if he thinks I'm not going to be happy with it, why would he do it then.....Hmmm, inquiring minds want to know.
I sat on the couch and waited for him to continue his conversation. He had to take the extremely long way around before he even got to the point. He tells me that he talked to a friend of his about this idea and the friend tells him that it's a good idea and that he should go forth and do it. Now here is where I'm ready to punch him in his eye; not both eyes because he needs to see me coming, only one eye will do.
I can see if he talks with the friend FIRST and then talks to me so that we can make the final say so of whatever decision it is. He and I had already made a decision as husband and wife; so why in the shabookie would you then take this outside of the house and ask somebody else what they thought?.....Oh but wait....hubby then asks me if I was mad at him for doing that.....MAD?....MAD?.... I don't know what the heck I want to feel. I was so disappointed at him that I didn't know what to do.
I like to ask myself, "What's it gonna matter in six months?" If it's not - then I let it go.
ReplyDeleteHowever, if it's something big and does affect you, the only advice I would offer is that you take your time and think through what you want to say to him. It's tempting to lash out in anger, but best to "count to ten" before you go at it another round.
Hang in there!
i feel you.. i would tell him that i am disappointed that you would go redecide something that we as a family had already decided. but if this is what you want to do, i support you. then kiss him on the cheek and walk away.. something about dramatic exits that get men
ReplyDeleteHis idea must mean A LOT to him. He probably was asking for your opinion, not your approval.
ReplyDeleteI agree with MOMSWEB, he probably wanted to get feedback on the idea. You helped him see factors he may not have been considered. But he was willing to make the sacrafice.
ReplyDelete