Loose in the booth

As I was getting dressed for work, I didn't do anything that was unusual. I got up at 6:00 and was out the door by 7:00. I drove to work like I normally do and parked. When I got out of the car and began to walk toward my building, I felt my underwear coming down my hips. For a minute I thought I had gotten some raggedy ones out of the drawer or maybe the elastic had just worn out. Then I realized, these were some fairly newer draws that I had on. I paused for a moment and adjusted my undies and continued to walk forward. Again, they started coming down my hip. I held my legs real tight so my underwear would not fall down. Oh and did I mention that I had on a skirt.

I think maybe I had lost about a pound or two but these draws were not about to come down, not today. I kept thinking that I would have to sit down all day or else, the draws would fall and that would be embarrassment to the highest power. I also thought about just taking them off and throwing them away, but I could not fatham my butt being airish all day.

I looked for a safety pin, cause I was going to really go straight ole skool and just hook my undies to my skirt. I tried putting my draws in my crack like a thong, but it kept feeling like something was poking me and besides a thong ain't really for plus size people. So when I had to get up and walk somewhere, I felt like a thug when he is always holding his pants up because he didn't put on a belt. It was the most awkward position all day. My underwear would just keep sliding off my lady humps and I would pull them right back up.

It actually turned out to be a long day because of that. I'm glad I didn't have class that night. When I got home, I had to get rid of them because ain't no telling what would happen if I decided to wear them again after they got washed. That's a chance I was not willing to take.

~QUEENBEE~

New driving laws

One of my biggest pet peeves when we are driving on the interstate, is when my hubby flashes somebody with his bright lights, in order for them to get over. It's not only a pet peeve, it's an extreme annoyance. I get so pissed off when he does that. I told him that if I am driving and I see the driver behind me flash their bright lights on me, that is just going to cause me to stay right where I am. Well recently while watching tv with hubby, I heard them say that is going to be something new that drivers can now legally flash the driver ahead of them. What the?????.....Say it ain't so. That was just up hubby's alley. I didn't like it one bit. I hate that.

Here's the scenario: Hubby is in right hand lane but then an 18-wheeler is going too slow. Hubby proceeds into the left hand lane where there is supposed to be faster traffic. Hubby gets behind car that is probably trying to pass the 18-wheeler but at the same time, doesn't want to speed. Hubby then flashes said driver with his brights for that driver to move back into the right hand lane so that hubby can proceed with his out of control driving. So if said driver in front of hubby doesn't move back over to the right hand lane fast enough, hubby will then flash said driver again. I DO NOT LIKE IT.

I asked hubby, "Do you have to flash them?" And before he answers...I say to him.....STOP IT!!!! Hubby then says to me, "Well how else do you expect me to get past them." Wifey says, "Just wait until they move." I don't think this went too well with him because then he started flashing every single car. And I think he did it just to piss me off. If I wasn't afraid of being mauled by a deer or two, I would have told him to put me out on the interstate. Ok, maybe not the interstate, but the next rest area. So again, I said to hubby: If I was in front of you driving, I ain't moving and then I might put on brakes too."  I tell him what he is doing and what is now going to become legal is what's going to cause road rage. Can you imagine just minding your own business in your car and you see some bright lights flash behind you? So what if I don't move, what are they gonna do? Call the police on me. Such a stupid law.

~QUEENBEE~

It's getting hot in here...

....and I'm sure you wanna be like Nelly and say, "so take off all your clothes." NOT! I already could not sleep because it was rather warm for it to January. I checked the weather and I noticed that the high and the low would be somewhere around middle to high 60's. I normally sleep with my ceiling on but somehow hubby said it was cold. I really don't think he was cold. I just think that he thinks that since it is January that we are just supposed to have the heater on.  So before I shut my eyes, I asked hubby if he had the heater on. He said no.  I told him that it was hot in the house and so I threw the cover off. I expected him to just turn the ceiling fan on in an attempt to make me comfortable but he did not. I dozed on off to sleep but woke up hotter than when I went to sleep. I tossed and turned but no cool air was coming from anywhere.

When my alarm went off at 6:00a.m., I felt myself sweating. I touched my forehead and yes, I was sweating. I thought a hotflash had taken over me. I was about to go and find me some type of medicine for this insaneness. When suddenly, I heard something that sounded like a motor close to my bedroom window. Since our room window is on the back side of the house and not near the street, I knew it wasn't a car. I got closer to the window and I be dog-gone, it's the darn heater. I quickly went down the hall to turn it off, but right before I did, I told myself that I'm going to check the weather. I turned on the tv and it said it was 62 degrees. I nearly bust a gasket in my brain. If it had've been in the 40's, I would have given hubby the benefit of the doubt and left the heater on. I turned that switch to the off position and just sat down for a minute just to cool off.

Normally, hubby is asleep when I am getting ready for work, but for some reason, he was woke this morning. He said good morning and asked how I was doing. I said that I was doing fine except for the fact that I felt like I was in the devil's chamber and the door was locked. I asked him why on earth did he get up in the middle of the night to turn on the heater when the low was just going to be 61. Do yall know he said cause his feet were cold. Just from that answer alone, I could have slapped him. Out of all the socks he has in the drawer and out of the blankets that are in the closet, DUH....just put on some socks and wrapped your feet up like a hot dog. He goes and turns on a heater to heat the whole house and make everybody miserable all because his feet are cold. REALLY????!!!!! Before I walked out the door, I said to him that I don't expect to come home and it feel like Hell up in here. I think he got the message.

~QUEENBEE~

School News

I found out from my advisor that this could possibly be my last semester in school. I sure do hope so because I am tired of school. So instead of my normal two classes per semester, I am taking three. Yes, three! I know it seems a bit much for me to tackle but with God's help, I believe I can do it.

I have already applied for graduation, which is supposed to be May 3, 2013. I am constantly emailing my advisor back and forth to see what else I need to do. I do not want to miss the mark. Our daughter asked me if I was going to walk in the ceremony. I told her heck yeah! After all these sleepless nights and homework on top of homework and major studying, yes I plan to walk across that stage. I do not know what I will be doing after these last three classes, but I will just continue to work and be still until The Lord guides me in the direction where I should go.

#Teamgraduation2013

~QUEENBEE~

Everything new

Our son will be turning 17 in exactly 19 days from today. I told him that we were going to get him an updated phone for his birthday and for him to pick the phone out that he wanted. I told him what budget we were working with and not to get a phone over that. Well he wanted to know if he could have the phone before his birthday. I was like, wait a minute....didn't we just come back from going to Texas, didn't I just pay for another trip for you to go on with the school, didn't I just put down money for you to go on the college road trip with the church......and you can't wait 19 days for a phone? He said, "But Mom, it's a new year and I need my new phone in the new year."

I said to our son that he will get his new phone for his birthday and what was the rush in getting it before January 26. He said he needed to have a new phone to go with his new age and that he was going to get new clothes to represent a new year. So I said to our son, but with everything new, won't you still be an old you? What about a new you? He said that there was nothing wrong with the way he was and I said well nothing is wrong with your old phone and that it will continue to last until January 26. Who knows? I might just surprise him and get it early. I haven't made up my mind just yet.

~QUEENBEE~

Do it yourself

Every since we have had our old truck, hubby hadn't said anything about how I park. Now all of a sudden with the newer truck, he asked me if I could take constructive criticism. I said what is it. He said that my parking is not right and that I was not turning wide enough into the driveway. He said that while turning in the driveway, there is a patch of grass that my truck goes over and it is eating the grass. I just gave him that look and said, "Seriously?" I told him that patch has always been there. He tells me that it is because my wide turn is a half-wide turn and to turn the wheel wider.

First of all, this little patch of grass, which is near the road, could have happened anywhere at any time. It could be from people walking and then I told him, it could be his parking instead of mine. I can see if this patch of baldness was like in the middle of the yard and was very clearly visible, but it is not.....again, it is at the end of the driveway where the road and yard meet.

Second of all, if he feels that all of a sudden my parking is not up to par, how about I park outside of the mailbox when I get home and then he can park in the driveway any way he feels like it and just do it himself. I bet after doing that for about two times, he will tell me to just go ahead and do it myself and that what he really was complaining about was really nothing to complain about.

So I drove home after church and looked at him and wondered if I should park outside of the mailbox. He said just pull in how you normally pull in. I did and he got out and was complaint free. He could have left that complaint in his throat and then come back to me when he REALLY has something to complain about. I'll holla!

~QUEENBEE~

Knowing the difference

Hubby has been growing a small garden and I was not too keen on it being in the front yard, but oh well. He grew some collard greens last year and they turned out really good. He planted more collards but wanted to add some cabbage to his garden as well. When he asked me to come outside and take a look at the cabbage, I said, "where are they because all I see are collard greens." He pointed to what he thought were cabbage and said, "there, the cabbage are right there." I look again and said, "you must be blind in one eye and can't see out of the other because those are collard greens." He pulled his little stick out of the ground to show me that he planted cabbages there. So I asked him, "When did cabbage greens grow on a stalk, don't they suppose to have a head?"

I know at this point that hubby must have thought I was a dunce, but I have never known cabbage and collards to both grow on a stalk and I do remember that cabbage is more bunch together like a head and it was a lighter green in color. Both sets, the real collards and the pretend cabbage were both dark green in color and they both were on a stalk. If it looks like a duck and acts like a duck, it's a duck. So hubby then said, well you will see the difference when I cook them for New Year's Day.

When he did cook them, I didn't see any difference. The looked like collard greens, they smelled like collard greens, and they even tasted like collard greens. I love both collards and cabbage but I think that when he planted the collards, that some seeds must have blown in the wind and got on the side where he was suppose to grow cabbage. My opinion is that the cabbage greens just didn't make, but since collard seeds were there, they grew into cabbage. But yet hubby was adament in saying I was wrong. I just threw my hands up. I said sure whatever, doesn't make any difference to me. I said you can call them one thing, but I tend to beg the differ. He was not having it that I was not agreeing with him. I said to him that I do not have to think like he thinks but he can say they are cabbage and I'm cool with that. He said, "no, no, no, you have to say they are cabbages." I said if you say they are cabbage, then they are cabbage to you. End of discussion. He really got pissed off when I said that, but that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

When we finished eating, I said, "those were some good collard greens." He just gave me that look and all I could do was laugh. I just have not seen cabbage and collards that look like twins, EVER! I'm not saying they do not exist, I'm just saying I have never seen it. But until I see them, those were collard greens.

~QUEENBEE~