Saturday, January 9, 2010

So Anti-Social

Where should I begin? There's a father daughter dinner/dance in a week and we had been excited about that. Or let's just say hubby and I have been excited. Ms. 16 year old couldn't care less and didn't have any anticipations about going. So when we mentioned to her that there would be rehearsal for them to practice dancing, she said that it didn't really matter because she wasn't going to dance anyway and that she was just gonna sit there. I'm like what do you mean you're not gonna dance. I'm wasting my time trying to help get her prepared for this when all she really thinks is that she is being forced to go to something she don't want to go to. Today was suppose to be the day that we would go and pick out her a dress and I even threw in another incentive, I would go and get her nails done. It was like scrooge came to town and stayed over at my house. I told hubby that if she is not interested in none of that then I say forget about it. Am I doing something wrong here?

He tried to reason with her and I just got to a point where enough is enough. It actually all started with hubby telling her to get her room clean. At any point where she doesn't want to clean, she gets all quiet and act like she lost her best friend. I've told hubby to just be adamant about it and not back down. She will do chores whether she wants to or not. So along with the quietness, she will then go in her room and just sit in the dark with no lights on. See, that doesn't phase me. It bothers hubby. I told him that when she gets in those types of mood, let her look crazy by sitting in the dark room. We talk to find out if there's a problem, but there's nothing. I say move on. I just keep doing what I got to do. They will get over it eventually. She claims to be very anti-social and we suggested to her that if she went to this dinner/dance that it will help her in her social life. That was like talking to the dead and hoping they respond back.

There are some things we make her do whether she wants to or not. She has to go to church. If we go to 8:00 or 10:45, whichever one we attend, that's the one she will attend. I'm not asking either child if they feel like going to church or not. We going, get up. She has to go to school, and a few other things as well; so I told hubby if she making such a big deal over a dance, forget it, let her tail stay here at the house but ain't nobody saving anything for her from the dance. That's her if she wants to miss out. I wish something was like this when I was a teenager. I would have been racing to get there. So I asked Ms. 16 year old if she was going to Junior Prom, she says she didn't want to go and says she may not even go to Senior Prom. Ok, hear ye, hear ye...I am not going to be sitting around begging no child to go and enjoy life. I am going to enjoy life. I've been to my 10, 15, and 20 year high school reunions. And if they have a 25 year when that time comes, I'm going to that one too. I don't care if I didn't care for no one at the school, I'm going.

I asked Ms. 16 year old how come she didn't want to participate in stuff. It's usually the same answer that she don't have a desire to go. Hubby and I try to encourage her as often as we can but if she wants to be a home body, then oh well. If she wants to be at home and everyone else her age from the church will be having a good time, then so be it. It may not be the right thing to do but I'm not gonna fuss about it anymore. I'm not gonna stress about it. I got things to do.

Lovingly yours,


  1. Wow, how are you:)? I don't have a teen yet, well I got pre teen and he was doing the seclusion thing just yesterday! He said he was fine, I left him alone. I have a 21 year old step child who doesn't go out much, he just told me he likes to cool out in his room. I blame all these electronic toy's, they keep our children in the house, in their rooms and extremely reclusive! I believe your right to let her be, she has to go to church and school, the rest, I'm sure she'll change her mind on later:)

    Does she keep a diary? Maybe something is going on and she doesn't want to say. I would wait until she is in a good mood and then try to delicately to approach what's going on.

    Ms. Wanda

  2. Hmmm...what would Steve Harvey say? I'm laughing just thinking about it.