Saturday, April 25, 2009

When can I date?

That's the question that was asked by my daughter who will be 16 on May 31. I personally don't feel she is ready to date and I have voiced my opinion to her in letting her know. Society has put pressure on children saying that they should be doing this or that by a certain age. Who are the people on the "age committee" that says you can drive a motor vehicle at 16 but you can't drink until you are 21? Dating is something that you have to be mentally prepared for, not just age wise. My daughter says that she is growing into a young lady and I do agree...physically. But mentally she is not ready to date because it also comes with responsibility and the maturity in saying no to pre-marital sex and other issues that may arise. So what she is telling me is that she is responsible enough to sensibly date but not responsible enough to go and wash dishes or clean her room without me having to tell her? It all goes hand in hand. I have to see the change first. That's like saying she is ready to drive but haven't taken any driving lessons. Even though she knows she is not getting my car either because her maturity level is just not there to be under the wheel. She wants to drive, but doesn't take the initiative to take up drivers education in school. That's like someone saying they want to be a chef but is never in the kitchen watching parents cook or even trying to cook something for themselves. There will be plenty of time for dating. I just don't see it right now. Somebody please help me on this situation.

1 comment:

  1. Well, your help will come from another source because I don't believe in one on one dating unless they are considering taking the relationship to another level - marriage. Yeah, I'm old fashioned but group dating will be the only type of dating my sons will do. Will they dislike me? Probably, and maybe even have strong feelings of hate (lol). Will I care? No. I wasn't allowed to date and I'm so grateful my parents made that decision for me. Did I dislike them? Couldn't stand them for that, but oh how I love them now (smile).