Good Friends, Good Food, Good Fun

EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT: WIVES GET AWAY FOR FUN WITHOUT CHILDREN AND HUSBAND. Boy oh boy, what a fun night it was. We had been trying to plan for a get away to just sit, talk, laugh and enjoy each others company and then it happened, a night so fun-filled that we tried to make the best of every minute.

There we are, Raemeaksha, LaVender and myself sitting at Golden Corral after we had shut the place down. Let's start at the beginning, shall we? R had sent me a message saying we needed to get together. L had been told me in church and we just needed to get the three of us on one accord. None of our schedules would fit where we could get away. So R said let's just do it, let's just plan for somewhere to go. We didn't have a clue where we wanted to go, we all were just excited to get away and have some girl fun without husband and kids.

So I called L and she said for us to meet up in one central location: THE CHURCH and then that way we can make a decision where we wanted to go. It was hard for us to choose because we don't ever get to go anywhere without someone on our tails. When I called R to tell her that we would meet up at church, she laughed so hard and then laughed harder. She said that she could see three different vehicles parked at the church parking lot at night like we had some secret meeting we were trying to attend. OK then, we settled on meeting at Golden Corral.

I was to pick up L in my car and we would ride together and then R would meet us there. We were so excited that we were on our way to nothing but fun, good clean fun for married women. On my way to L's house, my car started sounding funny and jerking, so I got to L's house and parked it. L's hubby thinks it may be the transmission, so L drove instead and I left my car at her house. When we arrived at Golden Corral, R was running about maybe 15 minutes late, and then when she showed up, we laughed non-stop. We ate, then talked, then laughed, then ate some more, talked some more, laughed even harder. We talked about how much fun this was and hoped that we could at least do this once a month. It was such a refresher just to breathe from the normal daily life of husband and children.

When we looked around, there may have been about 6 to 10 more people in Golden Corral and we decided that we should go home. Yes, we shut the place down and we loved it. This was one spectacular night and I realized that it was good for us women to just relate, release and relax.

Lovingly yours,

What to say and when to say it..Part Two

How many times has someone told you to have a nice day? Do they say it just to have something to say or do they really want us to have a nice day? What if I don't want to have a nice day but I guess since someone said it, then it must mean that I gotta have a nice day no matter what. If I don't have a nice day, I could be thrown in non-nice day jail and be a prisoner for the rest of my life. And our reply is, "You have a nice day, too" but do I really care if your day will or will not be nice. Hmmmm!

Seriously, why do we say the things we say? Are we really being truthful when we say it? Here's an example: You got your brand new Nike's on and you know you are looking fly and then someone comes and steps on your foot. The one who stepped on your feet says they are sorry and you know what we say - oh it's ok. LIAR!! It's not ok you blind moose. Here is what you really want to say: "I know you didn't just step on my brand new Nike's, you king tut look-a-like. I know good darn well that you saw this size 12 taking up a great mass of space." But yet, we smile back and say, "It's ok." And don't be in church and someone who has them 9 inch heels on step on your foot. I be wanting to scream, "Holy Mother of Krispy Kreme Doughnuts!"

When we have just learned that someone has died, are the first words you say are, "Oh, I am sorry" but are you really? Are you really sorry that someone you can't stand with a passion has died? Is it that we just don't know what to say but want our voice heard!!! Think about it. And somebody, anybody tell me why do we say, "Not my child". SHUT UP. It's your child too. Yeah your little angel at home is the same devilish person when you are away from them. Stop saying what your child won't do. That's a bunch of tomfoolery. They probably doing something now while you are reading this blog.

When asked, "what's wrong" and you reply, "Nothing", next time say this: Oh where should I start. My husband didn't put tissue on the roll again, I'm bleeding from the outside in, looking at you is giving me a migraine and if you wouldn't mind moving out of my way, I feel my fists ball up in some odd kind of way." There, well said.

Lovingly yours,

What to say and when to say it..Part One

Sometimes we get caught up with wanting to say things that we say stuff just to say it. We don't realize how stupid someone sounds until they open their mouths and start talking. And then we want to look at them like, really, was that even necessary! My daughter and I normally go to the gym together and this past week has just been busy so we didn't get a chance to go. Hubby says to me that I should go to the gym before we go on our cruise to Mexico which is like 30 days away. I'm looking at him because I do know I will be going within 30 days and I asked him why would he even mention the gym. He said so that my legs could be in great shape for all the walking we will be doing....and that, your honor is how he ended up with all his teeth knocked out. Even though I keep telling you all I am not a violent person. I really am not.

So when he said that, the first thing I want to know is, "so you think my legs are not in shape?" After all, we have been to the Bahamas twice and I did fine with all the walking and I wasn't even going to the gym then. He said he didn't mean it in that way. So why did you say it in that way? I keep telling him it's not what you said but how you said it. Moving right along.

My sister in MS has a major problem. When she and her husband are out somewhere and some woman looks at her husband, she has to get all bent out of shape, talking loud and asking the woman why is she looking at her husband and then wants to know if her husband knows the woman. So I asked her what was up with all the drama. I told her woman are going to look at him just like men look at her. I also said that if no one was looking, then you'd probably be wondering to yourself how much uglier can this person be if NOBODY looked at them or complimented them.

I got one more question. Why do we women want to know if these jeans make our butt look big? Now we know that your butt was big before you got in the jeans. All the jeans did was give it covering. Did you think it was suppose to make it shrink like 4 sizes smaller? Think again. It's still big.

Lovingly yours,

Menstrualization

Is that even such a word? Well today it is. We tend to avoid subjects such as these, but hey we know it's gonna happen and for the men either in our lives, or the men we come in contact with, they know what the deal is. They may be saying, "Ughhhhhh", and for that, we are thinking the same thing about you all, except in other ways.

Well I have never ever had a cramp in my life. I'm not boasting about it, just blessed about it. I can't tell my daughter that I know exactly what she is feeling because I've never ever been there. If it's anything like labor, Lord thank ya! So I'm telling my 16 year daughter when her cycle is to come on and that she should start taking her anti-pain relief like a day before. She says to me that I am jinxing her. Jinx? What the heck!! Do people still say that?

So I go to her on Sunday and said, "you will be abnormal probably starting on Wednesday." She said, "um, mother, could you not jinx me" and so Wednesday came and a text came through on my phone from my daughter that said, "Now I am hurting and I feel miserable and it's because of your thoughts". This child is like Satan's envy of wrath when she cramps. YIKES!!! When I got home I said to her that if she would have listened to me then she could have taken that pill and not been in as much pain. She asked me how did I become so blessed. I could not explain to her why God chose to do what he did but I know I am grateful for it.

My daughter also asked me how can I keep up with her cycle and she can't even keep up with it. I told her that I'm gonna keep up with it as long as she is under our roof and that I'd rather buy pads than be buying pampers and formula any day.

Lovingly yours,

Putting pudding on a prayer

Sounds stupid, huh for a title, but once you read on, you'll have that Aha moment. No need of beating behind the bush with this one, might as well jump right in. Hubby asked me if I didn't mind, to pass him a vanilla pudding out of the refrigerator. I opened the fridge and gave him exactly what he asked for....a vanilla pudding. As I passed it to him, he gave that look (not THE LOOK, but a look non the less). He said, "Not this one, the other one." Ok, and that is where I paused and was almost at the disgruntled stage. I said to hubby, "Did you NOT ask for vanilla pudding?" He said, "Well I meant the other one." I looked inside the fridge to make a point that there was not any other vanilla pudding. So I thought he was having a moment of senility.

I asked him if that was not what he wanted, then WHAT IN THE HECK DO YOU WANT? He said, "Oh I meant that I wanted a chocolate mousse." So then I said, "Well that's not what you asked for and then next time, if there should be one, to be more specific as to what you want." And that is where the "preaching" began.

I said, "See that's exactly how we treat God." He sat and listened because he had no idea where a pudding and prayer were going to go hand in hand. I continued, "See, we pray for something that we THINK we want, and when God answers your prayers, you be like, Oh no, Lord, this is not what I wanted." I also continued, "We pray and ask God for a wife, and then when He gives us a nagging, complaining, club-hopping, one-legged, bald, half alligator, half giraffe, our reply is 'oh no, this ain't what I wanted', but is this NOT what you asked for, you asked for a wife."

Hubby then looked at me cock-eyed and said, "You said all that to say what?" I said, "The moral of the story is to be specific, is that so hard to do." He said he saw where I was coming from and apologized for assuming I knew what he wanted. He did say he would do better. And that, my friends, will be more of a prayer, forget the pudding.

Lovingly yours,

Until death us do part? HUH!!

I often ask myself the question, "Why do people want to get married?" When we get the announcement either by mail, in person or either e-mail, I be wanting to ask the other person, "why?" Not that marriage is a bad thing, it's not, because that is God's will and that if you can't sustain your sexual desires, well it is a good thing to be married. But what about the "until death do us part"? I mean, think about it. Besides sex, what makes a person want to ask us to marry them and then stick with us until the end of time? You mean, as in, FOREVER!! .....DUDE!!

Do they see the beauty or the booty? (Ok, like I'm the only smart person one who has thought this!) When a man asks a lady to marry him for life, do he really know what he is getting into? When hubby and I were dating, and he came to me one day and said that I would make a perfect wife, I almost looked at him cock-eyed. Me? A perfect wife? Let's break this down, shall we? I said, "every night I go to bed, I have a rag on my head, now is that what you want to see every night?" His reply was, " I won't have to see you, the lights will be turned off." I'll admit it was funny but do you actually think he wants to see this rag tied around twice on my head just to make sure my hair looks good in the morning? (if that was a run on sentence, you English people, charge it to my head who is thinking this stuff)

I know we stay stuff to get the other person, but do I really want to put up with late night snoring until one or the other croaks and dies? Seriously! Do I really want to see hubby walk around with all this chest hair protruding like little ants? And I'm sure he don't be wanting to see my breast let out of their cage at the end of the day.

One of my things is that I love to write. It could be about nothing, I just love doing it. Why in the bacon and tomato dressing would you come over and ask me what I'm writing! It's sooooo obvious to me that if I really wanted you to know, don't you think I would share it with you. Like totally!

Until death do us part, huh...so you mean to tell me I have to constantly look at his cluttered dresser until I'm like 108? OMG...if I have to put that toilet seat down one more time.. scream....uggghhhhh......I'm gonna leave that one alone for now. Being single has its rewards, you know. (LOL) What are some of your quirks or qualms about being married if you have had the courage of a lion gone down that road?

Lovingly yours,

Miss Piggy would be so proud

I had to leave a little early for work the other morning. Hubby normally takes our 14 year son to school but this one particular morning, hubby had to go to the dentist, so I had to take our son, which resulted in me leaving the house a little early in order to drop him off and then get to work on time myself.

If I would have left at my regular time, I probably would have fixed myself my infamous grits which consists of a pack of instant grits mixed with milk instead of water. Then after it is done, mix a dollop of sour cream in the grits, followed by a lil' butter and cheese. Don't knock it until you try it. OMG...I can taste them now. So instead of me having time to get my grub on, I left on an empty stomach.

When I got to work, I was sooo hungry. Anything would do. I would have eaten a giraffe if it was cooked to perfection. So I'm looking through my drawers, (knowing I don't have any snacks here). But in my mind, something, anything... if two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree would have mysteriously appeared, I would have been happy.

I looked in my mini fridge that is in my office (I'm actually harboring it for about a year until a co-worker can come back for it) and I found some cheese. Oh yes, I'll eat this. That didn't do anything and then the lady who I ordered girl scout cookies from, came and brought over the cookies. Temptation had set in because I ate a whole sleeve of them shortbread cookies. Dog-gone shortbread! Tasty. I almost felt guilty but that left me in an instant. It was like the best ever.

Lovingly yours,