Monday, May 17, 2010

Natural laxatives

I should have known that when I ate them blackberries that they would tear my stomach up, but I didn't know.  I know that when I drink grape juice, eat collard greens, corn and homemade ice cream that there is no hope for the bathroom. You might as well just give me a bucket out in the woods and let me pretend I am a bear.

I saw them blackberries in Wal-Mart and they looked so good and I just had to buy me some. Once I went home and washed them, I put them in my container to take with me to work. They looked so delicious after washing that I had to just give in to temptation and eat like five of the blackberries.

So shortly afterwards, about a few hours later is about what I would say, I heard a rumble going on and I looked around to see if I could tell where the sound was coming from. It was me. I dashed to the bathroom like Rudolph had missed Christmas and I had instant relief. Well you would have thought that would have deterred me from eating the rest of the blackberries, but it didn't because I didn't know it was the blackberries. I sat at work with my pretty little container in desperation and anxiety to eat the blackberries. I ate the blackberries and continued to do my work, but by the time that lunch time rolled away, I think I hopscotched and double dutched to the ladies room.

I was alone in the office and had to pass gas, I knew it was them blackberries so I just let the poot out. And one brief second later, the delivery guy comes in. OH MY GOSH!!!! I had it already smelling spring time fresh with the smell of blackberries in the air. There was no turning back. I couldn't undo what had already been done. So now I know I don't need all those things that are on the shelf, I'm going to go and just get me some natural laxatives right out the kitchen. I don't know about them blackberries though, they played a dirty number on me.

Lovingly yours,


  1. That's a shame, they do look lovely. :0( Hope you're feeling okay now. x

  2. "I don't know about them blackberries though, they played a dirty number on me." LOL... Was it #2? LOL