Thursday, June 10, 2010

A venting session

I mentioned to our 17 year old daughter that I might try and take her to this temporary staffing company to see if she could get a job. I know everybody does things differently when it comes to parenting so I never promise our children that I will do anything because they will hold you to that. I mainly tell them I will try to do this or that and that it is not set in stone. I also tell them that things don't always go according to the way we plan it. With that being said, I came in from work and told our daughter that something else had been added to the itinerary prior to me taking her down to the staffing company.

I needed to go and pick up my book for class so I told her that I don't know if I will make it to the place or not and that we could go next Friday. Getting my book was extremely important and yes it was a bigger priority than going to go and help her find a job. I could see if she was paying a mortgage or anything for that matter. So when I mentioned that to her, she decides she is not going to eat. Well hubby wanted to baby her and say, "come on and eat". Why? I don't know because we all have to face some kind of rejection in life and I told him that he is not helping by making it seem like I am the big bad wolf. When rejection comes, you have to know how to handle it and not just sit up and crawl in a corner.

So our daughter did just that. She went in her room and got in a corner and didn't talk like she had lost her best friend. I just let her be right in that corner because that is just part of life. Even when we go to the temporary staffing place on tomorrow, she is not guaranteed to get a job and when life throws you lemons, you just have to learn how to make some good sweet lemonade and not just be a sour puss. Keep in mind that I didn't say we were not going, I said I would try to go if time permits.

Life is an amazing thing. What you put into it is basically what you get out of it. We as parents can't always go around pacifying our children for every little boo boo. There comes a time when you have to let go. When the Bible speaks of training up a child in the way he should go, that doesn't mean that we are going to be perfect at what we do, that just means that we are trying to do it in a Godly and respectable way. Your parenting is not going to be the same as my parenting but that doesn't mean my way or your way is the right or wrong way. It's just the best way. We don't put our children out there at 18 and say, "Here, go and learn your ABC's", we train them up as a toddler teaching them how to say their alphabet, learning how to speak, learning how to sit still, etc.

It's the same way as weaning our children off the breast or the bottle. Then after that, they learn how to sleep in a big bed, then learn how to be potty trained and then off to their first day of school. They learn it as they grow and we as parents want to be able to protect our children from every thing but we can't. As they get older, they learn more and more and they also learn rejection as well when we enter into the grocery store and they see that piece of candy that caught their eye and the first thing we say is, "NO!" Our job is to nurture, love and care for our children, not to be their umbrella for life. We have to let them fall, and let them learn how to get back up and dust themselves off. If you have a child who has moved out and they find they have spent all their money but then they knew their mortgage was due and come running to you, what do you do? Do you pay the mortgage for them or let them learn their own lesson and learn how to prioritize?

I hear so many children talking about, "I wish I was grown." That's merely talk. They think once they hit being grown, that all the problems will go away and that they will have everything they want, they will be able to go anywhere they want to, and everything will be accessible to them just because of who they are. Hello.... Reality Check....Well that reminds me of Simba in The Lion King. When he was a cub, he played and laughed and didn't have one single worry, but oh when he became King, he had to deal with real jungle problems and issues. Life was a different ballgame and he had many decisions to make, some were right, some were wrong, but in the end, he finally got at least some of it right.

So with all that being said and a little bit of stuff off my chest, when things can't go your way and you want to crawl up in a corner because you really don't have a pot to piss in nor a window to throw it out of, just put your big girl panties on and deal with it.

Lovingly yours,

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