Dear Abby,

I received something that was so unbelievable that I decided to share it with you. The thing I received was a letter from my co-worker, via e-mail at that. See what had happened was this, I send out a newsletter every two weeks informing the department of pertinent information they need to know about grades, last day to withdraw, meetings and so forth. I don't change the way I type it up and I always keep it in the same format because I do know that some of my instructors are not computer literate and I've been doing this for four years. The only thing I change is the information. Well, this do-do brain of an instructor calls me and tells me that he can't read it. (DUH! Why are you calling me?) So I asked him what did he mean that he couldn't read it, and he said the font was too small. I tried to offer him a solution as to how to go in and change the font from his computer to a larger font where he could read it, and I guess he didn't like that, so he hung the phone up on me and then sent me this e-mail:

Each time I ask you anything, your tone of voice indicates to me that either I’m asking an assinine question or you just don’t want to be bothered. I must admit that I’m not as adept at using computers as some are, but I DO NOT appreciate being made feel that you feel that my questions are a waste of your time. From now on, I will do my best NOT to ask you any more questions. But I must add that I am not the only one who feels the way I do about your phone manners.

Well I was a little thrown off because I was trying to help the old man and I've been nothing but helpful to everybody in my department, especially on the phone. What I wanted to respond back to him and say was this:
Dear balding greyhaired man, If your tail go on and retire, since you are knocking on the door of 90, then your deceiving eyes won't be playing tricks on you cause it seems to me that you are blind in one eye and can't see out the other one. Yes, you are wasting my time by calling me with that crap that I am tolerating and my patience has worn out on your pettiness. It really doesn't matter if you DO NOT ask me any more questions, that will be less of your elementary drama that I have to deal with. You are beginning to look more and more like an oompa loompa anyway and if anyone else has a problem with me, then they need to take it up with me instead of having you be their little prissy maidservant. God Bless You.

BUT I DIDN'T.  I typed up the letter and erased it because I felt that I was bigger than that. I refused to stoop to his level, just because he couldn't get his way. For goodness sake, the man is 84 years old. It's way past the deadline of retirement. I didn't even respond to him, I just kept on smiling and went on about my joyful and blessed day.

Lovingly yours,